Reality Check

"Where should I go to college?" the Kid asked as we drove to the rink.

"What do want to do when you grow up?" I asked.

"I'm going to be a professional hockey player."

Not I want to be. I'm going to be. And he says this with all seriousness. Like becoming an NHL hockey player is as achievable as becoming a teacher or an engineer or a Hill staffer. Because eight year-olds don't grasp the reality that chances of becoming a professional athlete are slim-to-none. The Kid likes hockey, therefore, he shall play hockey.

I rattled off a list of colleges that have competitive hockey programs. (Okay, that's a lie. I rattled off a list of local colleges and pointed out that Jeff Halpern went to Princeton. Not exactly local, but close enough.)

"Someday I'll be just like Brooks Laich and my dreams will come true," he said.

That's his reality.

Trust but Verify

When I told Dmytri I wanted to start taking skating more seriously, I anticipated having to go back and relearn some things. I didn't realize tying my skates would be one of them.

"What is bothering you?" he asked as my outside edges fizzled out. "Is it the going faster or deeper edges or is something not feel right?"

I have to choose?

Dmytri patiently reiterated why I shouldn't be worried about edges. If my shoulders are positioned properly, I'm going to turn. The outside of my blade will grip the ice. The centrifugal force from going faster will hold me up. For a young, Ukrainian ice dance coach it works beautifully. For a beginning skater with questionable balance, zero athletic ability and a healthy fear of cracking her head open on the ice...this is all highly theoretical.

"Maybe if I become Olympic coach, you will trust me," he joked.

He then hauled me over to the boards to show me how properly bending my ankle could also provide more stability for my edges.

"Why don't you tie your skates?!" he gasped, pulling at my laces.

"I always keep my left one a little loose. If it's too tight it aggravates my bad ankle."

"And this one?" he asked, running his finger across the laces on my other skate. "How do you skate like that?"

"You used to yap at me because I tied them too tight," I reminded him.

"I yapped at you because they were too tight to bend your ankles. Those are too loose. No support."

"Why don't you retie them for me so they're how you want them?" I snapped.

"I'm not wasting my time," he snapped back.

Then quit complaining.

The whole conversation was really pretty funny. Dmytri is nothing but hilarious when he's truly appalled by something. But here's the deal...I trust Dmytri, even without the Olympics on his resume. I trust him to teach me proper technique. I trust him to make me work hard and to make me laugh. I trust him not to let me die for the 30 minutes of which he's responsible for me.

But he needs to trust me too.

Ankle injuries aside, my skates have never hurt my feet. I never had to "break them in." No blisters, no rubbing. They never pinched. My feet don't slide around in them. I've never had to manipulate them in any way. I don't have to wear special socks or pads or anything. Put 'em on and off I go...perfectly comfortable. I know this is a very rare experience among ice skaters. My inexpensive beginner skates are practically haute couture. Why mess with perfection?

Maybe if I become an Olympic ice dancer, Dmytri will trust me.

NOTE: That is my skate. It is not on my foot nor is it tied. I may keep my laces loose, but they're not that loose.

Smart Kids Skate

The Silver Spring Ice Rink at Veterans Plaza is offering free ice skating to Montgomery County Public School students who make the honor roll. Students need to bring their report card (proving they're on the honor roll) and their student ID to receive one hour of free skating, including rental skates. Offer is good through March 8, 2012. Get some outdoor skating in while you still can!

Join the Club

The Washington Capitals aren't giving their fans much to smile about these days. After last night's embarrassing loss to Carolina, that e-mail encouraging me to log in now and renew my season tickets can just sit there. I'm far too angry and disappointed to invest in them today. If we're talking value for dollar, the Caps just aren't giving it to me right now.

The Caps Kids Club, however, is worth my investment and if you have young Caps fans in your family, I recommend checking it out. For just $15 you get a lot of cool stuff, but following are the highlights for my family:

• The Membership Card -- Don't laugh! My newly-minted eight year-old loves having this membership card in his wallet. (It's not just a small piece of paper, it has the heft of a real credit card.) He likes flashing it whenever we go to Caps Kids Club events. It's the mite version of a VIP experience.

• Free Skating -- Each membership gets three vouchers to skate at Kettler Capitals IcePlex during a public session. That alone is worth more than the membership fee. I think it would be even better if you could choose either to skate at a public session or attend a stick-and-puck session. Little Caps fans who don't play hockey could still get some ice time and young hockey players could play on the same ice the Caps practice on. Very cool. Just a thought...

• Free Food -- The Kid keeps reminding me that he has a voucher for a free meal at Hard Times Cafe, one of our favorite haunts. Now that I think about it, I'm jonesin' for some Texas 3-Way.

• The Light Switch Plate -- The Kid recently decided he needed to upgrade his bedroom to a "big boy" room, which basically means the walls are covered in sports and Star Wars-related stuff. The Caps switch plate was part of this redecorating process. I expected a cheap piece of plastic that would easily fall apart, but I was wrong. It looks cool and is really sturdy.

• Events and Parties -- We've been to parties at both Kettler Capitals IcePlex and the Verizon Center and they've been lots of fun. We've made signs, got our faces painted, skated with other club members and tried on equipment worn by the Caps. (Okay, actually, I just held Mike Knuble's stick. Putting on another man's hockey equipment is just gross.) I wanted to get Sylvain Cote to sign my skates at a recent Kids Club event, but the Kid vetoed the idea in favor of taking shots at a mini-net. 

The Caps are giving us all a lot to complain about these days, but I think with the Caps Kids Club, they're at least getting something right off the ice.

No Pain, No Gain

"I couldn't find you! You look like all these kids!' Dmytri said, which apparently means I'm the same size as your average 5th grader.

The ice was packed with school kids and I was disappointed. I had wanted to talk to Dmytri about ramping up the intensity of my skating a bit. As he pointed out, I started this skating stuff simply to get to a point where I could move around with a little confidence. Now that I've gotten there, it's time to move on. And besides, I have really great coach, I need to suck every ounce of expertise out of him that I can.

"We start working harder and then you'll start writing on your Web site about how mean your coach is," Dmytri complained, jokingly.

"Of course!" I laughed. Does he expect anything less?

We took a few laps and Dmytri gave me snapshot what "ramped up" could look like in terms of learning dances, increasing my speed and...wait for it...improving my edges. Off the cuff he was able to outline goals and next steps in a way that seemed challenging ("You'll have to get over your fear of direction change") and achievable ("You've already learned Dutch Waltz and Rhythm Blues, we need to make them faster, better edges.") I was getting all excited about the possibilities. Unfortunately, we abandoned any hope of having a lesson. Unless we were going to camp out at center ice for 30 minutes working on crossovers and 3-turns, there really wasn't much to do with the crowd.

Some of my favorite lessons have been when Dmytri's been barking at me and expecting the impossible. I love working hard and it incentivizes me to practice. It'll be fun to see how this plays out. Who knows, maybe we can make a real athlete out of me...starting next week.

Net Minding

There are certain words that I do not want people saying around my son. Oh, I don't mind f-bombs. I can troubleshoot that. But some words have been banned from my home: "travel hockey" for instance. And any form of the word "goaltender."

So it would be just my luck that when the goalie on the Kid's hockey team got sick, my son volunteered to play in his place. My tiny son who, even when standing in skates, barely reaches the crossbar. My little boy who has never skated in the cumbersome goaltending equipment. My innocent child who has never dropped into the butterfly position and gotten up off the ice. Without having any goaltending experience or coaching, my son was going to be in net for a game.

We got to the rink early and a very nice Hockey Dad tied all the pads onto my little guy. While the Kid paced around in the equipment getting psyched up for the game, I filled his water bottle and cursed the Rockville Ice Arena for not serving beer. 

The Kid was excited. I was nervous. Apparently it didn't occur to him that he might not block one shot. Or that he might fall to the ice to block a shot and not be able to get back up. Or that he might get nailed with a puck and end up bleeding. Or maybe he did think about that stuff, but if he did, it didn't show.

He played just fine. Made some great saves and let in some soft goals. He's lucky the guys played well in front of him because the other goalie was gooooood! In the locker room he got high-fives and kudos from players and parents. I fought with the equipment for about 20 minutes. The Kid was bleeding.

"It was fun!" the Kid said. "But I don't think I want to be a goalie." 

Phew... 'cause I have no idea how to get those pads on.

A Gift

"Your edges are good."

Dmytri said those words...to me. This is a very big deal.

And I'm going to hold tight to those words for a very long time.

Stick and Puck

He Said What?!

The locker room was full of hot, sweaty mite hockey players. It had been a busy weekend -- morning practices, afternoon games -- mites and parents were tired. And for the first time ever, the mites were arguing about the score of the game.

"We won 6-4!"

"No you didn't! We won!"

This went on for a few rounds before frustrated parents started shushing kids. "That's enough!"

And then the Kid pipes up, "Hey guys!" I prepared to shush him and refocus him on taking off his equipment, until he said, "It doesn't matter what the score is. We're supposed to have fun!"

There were witnesses, I swear.

False Start

"Have you quit skating? We never see you anymore."

That's the text message I just received from one of my skating friends. I haven't been skating this month. Oh, I had one lesson early on and I took a few laps around the ice during the Caps Season Ticker Holder Skate at the Verizon Center, but that's it really.

My excuses:

• I've been sick -- I spent the better part of three weeks in bed or on the couch. Pro tip: go to the doctor. If I'd gone to the doctor early on I could've felt better in three days instead of three weeks.
• I've been lazy -- I just haven't felt like skating and since I knew I wouldn't be having a lesson anytime soon, there really wasn't any urgency. (When Dmytri's away Michelle will play...or lay on the couch watching trash tv.)
• I got hurt -- Bloody, bruised and swollen knee. I can put weight on it but the thought of falling on my banged up knee...*shudders.*

The thing is, once adult skaters start making excuses not to skate, it's pretty easy to get out of the rhythm. Jobs, kids, family, a library full of books to read and a wine cabinet full of pinot to drink...suddenly it's remember when I used to ice skate? Sometimes I think adult skaters have to work awfully hard to make skating a priority, no matter how much they love it.

Here are some ways to keep your skates from getting rusty:

• Put it on your calendar -- I actually block out skating time in my calendar. Somehow seeing it in black and white on my calendar makes me more likely to do it. (I also schedule my gym work outs. I'm an organized nerd.)
• Put your skates where you can see them -- Shoving your skates in the back of the closet is a surefire way to "forget" to skate. I keep my skate bag in my home gym, a room I go into every day, so I can't forget I own them. Some folks keep their skates in their car, eliminating the I-left-my-skates-at-home excuse.
• Be accountable to someone -- I once had a personal trainer who would text me everyday to make sure I'd worked out. It kept me honest. Having someone (another skater, coach, spouse, random Twitter follower) asking if you're skating can be pretty motivating.
• What am I missing? -- If you're an adult skater you've got to have tricks for keeping at it. What do you do?

So Monday I will go skating. It's on my calendar. Can someone send me a reminder text?