Ice Pact

He Said What?!

2012-01-30T14:58:00.001-05:00

The locker room was full of hot, sweaty mite hockey players. It had been a busy weekend -- morning practices, afternoon games -- mites and parents were tired. And for the first time ever, the mites were arguing about the score of the game.

"We won 6-4!"

"No you didn't! We won!"

This went on for a few rounds before frustrated parents started shushing kids. "That's enough!"

And then the Kid pipes up, "Hey guys!" I prepared to shush him and refocus him on taking off his equipment, until he said, "It doesn't matter what the score is. We're supposed to have fun!"

There were witnesses, I swear.

False Start

2012-01-27T15:38:00.003-05:00

"Have you quit skating? We never see you anymore."

That's the text message I just received from one of my skating friends. I haven't been skating this month. Oh, I had one lesson early on and I took a few laps around the ice during the Caps Season Ticker Holder Skate at the Verizon Center, but that's it really.

My excuses:

I've been sick -- I spent the better part of three weeks in bed or on the couch. Pro tip: go to the doctor. If I'd gone to the doctor early on I could've felt better in three days instead of three weeks.
I've been lazy -- I just haven't felt like skating and since I knew I wouldn't be having a lesson anytime soon, there really wasn't any urgency. (When Dmytri's away Michelle will play...or lay on the couch watching trash tv.)
I got hurt -- Bloody, bruised and swollen knee. I can put weight on it but the thought of falling on my banged up knee...*shudders.*

The thing is, once adult skaters start making excuses not to skate, it's pretty easy to get out of the rhythm. Jobs, kids, family, a library full of books to read and a wine cabinet full of pinot to drink...suddenly it's remember when I used to ice skate? Sometimes I think adult skaters have to work awfully hard to make skating a priority, no matter how much they love it.

Here are some ways to keep your skates from getting rusty:

Put it on your calendar -- I actually block out skating time in my calendar. Somehow seeing it in black and white on my calendar makes me more likely to do it. (I also schedule my gym work outs. I'm an organized nerd.)
Put your skates where you can see them -- Shoving your skates in the back of the closet is a surefire way to "forget" to skate. I keep my skate bag in my home gym, a room I go into every day, so I can't forget I own them. Some folks keep their skates in their car, eliminating the I-left-my-skates-at-home excuse.
Be accountable to someone -- I once had a personal trainer who would text me everyday to make sure I'd worked out. It kept me honest. Having someone (another skater, coach, spouse, random Twitter follower) asking if you're skating can be pretty motivating.
What am I missing? -- If you're an adult skater you've got to have tricks for keeping at it. What do you do?

So Monday I will go skating. It's on my calendar. Can someone send me a reminder text?

Lesson Learned

2012-01-22T16:17:00.001-05:00

We have a hockey rule in our house: if you don't go to practice, you don't play in the next game. This rule was set up as a preemptive measure so that I wouldn't end up with a mite hockey player who whined about practice but still wanted to play in actual games. This rule had zero impact in our lives. The Kid loves practice...he loves any ice time. Then this weekend happened.

On Friday night, the Kid was watching the Caps game on TV. He had an early morning practice on Saturday, so I wanted him to get to bed at a reasonable time to ensure he was well-rested for practice. (Mum-mum strategery.) He wanted to stay up late and watch the entire Caps game.

"Oh honey," I said in my best 'worried mom' voice. "Don't you think you need to get plenty of rest the night before hockey practice?"

He tried to convince me he'd be fine. He probably would be for practice, but later in the day fatigue would catch up with him and he'd be grouchy. Or maybe I was projecting how I would feel onto him. I don't know. Regardless, I gave him a choice: stay up late and not go to practice (which would also mean not playing in his game) or go to bed on time and play hockey all weekend. I thought for sure he'd choose playing over watching hockey.

Instead, the Kid did some serious thinking. Here was a seven year-old battling with instant gratification versus long-term satisfaction. He chose instant gratification. Oh, this could be very bad...for his parents.

"I need to take a break from hockey this weekend. I'm going to stay up and watch the Caps," he declared, trying to convince himself more than me.

Two hours later he was getting ready for bed and he asked, "If I get up early enough tomorrow, can I go to hockey practice?"

Yeah, didn't see that coming. (Note: Those words are dripping in sarcasm.)

The Kid didn't play any hockey this weekend. And he's decided the next time he has the choice between watching hockey and playing hockey, he's going to play hockey.

I thought so.

Do the Pemchenko

2012-01-20T15:29:00.000-05:00

Nationals are right around the corner. I won't be going because I'm recovering from strep throat. (What?) But in my drug-induced haze I've been reading up on the skaters who will be at Nationals and it appears all they want to do is "skate my best." Some get ambitious and want to "skate a clean program."

I call bullshit. If you don't want to win that bad boy, why are you going?

If I'm skating countless hours a day, if I have coaches yelling at me, if I'm letting some guy throw me across the ice or fling me over his shoulder and twirl me around...I want some goddamn bling around my neck for my troubles.

Who decided that respecting your competitors and wanting to kick their asses were mutually exclusive terms? It's possible to model sportsmanlike behavior, be professional and still express a desire to win.

Ask any NHL hockey player what his professional goal is and he'll tell you "to win a Stanley Cup." Not to get into the playoffs...to win the whole kit and caboodle. Meanwhile, ask a figure skater what his/her professional goal is and the answer tends to be a sheepish "to go to the Olympics." Just to go? All that time and money and blood, sweat and tears and all you want is "to go?"

Maybe I have a soft spot for precocious (honest?) athletes, but I think it would be refreshing for a figure skater to come right out and say, "I've been working really hard for this. I want to win."

Need an example? Watch the first 15 seconds of this video...Kate will give you a reason for doing the Pemchenko.

For my Interview

2012-01-12T12:50:00.001-05:00

The Washington Capitals have created a new video series that they're showing on the scoreboard during games. It's called "Building of a Capital" and right now it features ~~cougar bait~~ fan favorite Brooks Laich. As fun video clips and pictures of Brooks project on the screen, his mom is interviewed about his hockey past. Some of it is eerily familiar -- like how he used to scour hockey coverage in the newspaper (I can never cancel my Washington Post subscription) and how every room in the Laich house served as a hockey rink at some point. (Visit my house and you'll find a sliding glass door with puck marks on it, just like hockey glass. And I'm still not sure how that big chunk of plaster came out of the wall.)

Watching this got me thinking, when the Kid becomes an NHL hockey player, what stories will I tell? Well, he gave me one last night when we were at the Verizon Center to watch the Caps beat the Pens.

It was the second period and I was in the mood for a beer. I got the beer guy's attention and he nodded in recognition, so I waited patiently for him to work his way up the steps. Somehow he forgot about our nonverbal agreement and walked right past me. I joked with my seatmates that he had forgotten me.

At which point my seven year-old stands up and yells in his squeaky little voice...

"Hey beer man! How about a Miller Lite for the Lady?!"

Glad my little guy is looking out for his Mum-mum.

*****************************

Before anyone starts giving me shit about my bad parenting, please note: 1) I do not have delusions of my son becoming an NHL hockey player nor am I pushing him to do so. 2) I had ONE beer at the game and I was not driving home. 3) The Kid knows about Miller Lite because he watches Caps games on television and they advertise it. I may be a bad parent, but it's for entirely different reasons.

Cold, Miserable...

2012-01-11T09:53:00.000-05:00

Stay Classy

2012-01-08T12:22:00.000-05:00

We're back into the hockey hullabaloo. Who am I kidding, with Nothing But Net hockey camp over the holidays, we never got out of the hockey hullabaloo. Unfortunately, I start the new year with a heavy hockey heart.

A Minnesota high school hockey player, Jack Jablonski, is giving up the sport he loves. And not by choice. As the result of a hit into the boards, Jack won't play hockey again. My heart goes out to him and his family. Like pretty much every hockey parent, I fear the same thing happening to my kid. I can't imagine the heartbreak the Jablonski's are feeling and the strength they will need moving forward.

The Trophy Mom has written about Jack's tragic situation and links to several other very good articles. She also has started a petition calling upon USA Hockey to strengthen its rules on hits from behind, making it an automatic major penalty and a game suspension.

Jack Blatherwick at Let's Play Hockey recommends eliminating all checking against the boards, with the caveat that if a player establishes proper body position first, they can ride an opponent into the boards. (Bottom line: no hits from behind.) He sees this as a way to cut back on the physical intimidation associated with the game and to increase players' reliance of true hockey skill.

When I read USA Hockey's rules on hits into the boards, they seem fairly reasonable, with the assumption that we're all playing nicely in the sandbox. And that's where the problem lies...we're not. Mr. Blatherwick contends that the incentive to win drives bad behavior, going so far as to say, "...and in hockey more than other sport, this means cheating and physical intimidation." This to me is a bit of an overreaction, but I do see what he's saying.

Even on the Kid's house mite hockey team I've seen parents get too...er...feisty. Mostly everyone's laid back and having fun but still, you have a few overzealous parents in every crowd, including the dad who once yelled, "Take the man, Jason!" Take the man? What man? Reminder: these are 7-8 year old boys and girls. How about "Nice pass!" Or "Awesome skating!"

When parents yell at coaches, their kids assume that's acceptable behavior. When coaches yell at officials, young players assume that's an appropriate part of the game. When a hard hit on a fellow child gets Dad to cheer and say, "Yeah! You nailed him! Way to go buddy!" that leads to future dangerous behavior.

Stay classy grown ups. It makes a difference.

Official rules changes are tough, though not impossible to achieve. What I find particularly frustrating is that we have a society that needs a rule book to achieve a basic level of civility in sports. USA Hockey has rules on sportsmanship. The Kid's hockey program, the Montgomery Youth Hockey Association, has rules on sportsmanship. Because apparently we need words on paper to get people to observe common-sense courtesy and cooperation.

Youth hockey players don't start out with angry attitudes and reckless play that paralyzes, literally, their friends. They learn that aggressiveness from adults.

I'm very supportive of any discussion of rules changes that can make youth hockey more about hockey skill than unnecessary violence. And I applaud steps to improve player safety while protecting the integrity of the game. (It's a contact sport, I get that, but I'm a mom.) Luckily, we can take steps to decrease aggressive behavior on and off the ice, without new rules.

If you want to see more heartwrenching stories like Jack Jablonki's keep being an overzealous asshat. Or model sportsmanlike behavior for your youth athlete so everyone learns to stay classy.

Coach's Deep, Dark Past

2012-01-06T20:27:00.000-05:00

This post includes bombs, car crashes, vodka and gender-bending.

Don't say I didn't warn you.

At the end of my skating lesson today we were talking about coaching -- the dynamics, the ethics, the etiquette, the mechanics. I love getting insight from Dmytri on these things. I think he's smart and savvy about this stuff, so I value his perspective. He was talking about getting, what he called, a "fresh set of eyes" on skaters. Coaches see their students every day, so eventually, they become blind to some of their skaters' mistakes. Having another coach watch his skaters helps Dmytri see mistakes he may be missing. (Just like proofreading a document. This makes perfect sense.) Dmytri's coach has served as a fresh set of eyes for him.

Wait...Dmytri had a coach?! I'd pay money to watch him receiving instruction from a coach. Someone pass me the popcorn and the vodka bottle, this is gonna be fun!

Of course Dmytri had a coach, it's not like he came out of the womb with perfect edges. (Actually, he probably did.) Dmytri doesn't talk much about his past. Oh sure, I know about the bomb-throwing incident when he was 13. And he once drove a car in a lake. But unless I ask specific questions, he doesn't really talk about his skating past. Today he talked about his coach. God I want to meet this woman. (I think he said she was a woman, but he also referred to a painting as "him" so gender is clearly questionable in these conversations.)

What was Dmytri's coach like? Did she bark at him? "Stay down! Stand up! Inside edge! Outside edge! Go faster! Don't rush! Bend your knees! Bend your ankles! Don't look down!"

Did she stomp her skate blades on the ice in exasperation when demonstrating something? Did she roll her eyes? Did she give that unaffected shrug?

When he did something perfectly, did she say, "Not bad."

And what was Dmytri like as a student? How hard did he work? Did skating come naturally to him or did he struggle with it? Did he talk back to his coach as much as I talk back to him? Did he ask a lot of questions? Was he ever scared to learn something?

I'd love to have a glass of wine with Dmytri's old...er...former coach. And if she brings pictures and video...even better!

Wrapping it Up

2011-12-24T14:25:00.000-05:00

Time to close out skating for the year. I doubt I'll be getting any ice time between now and the first of the year. The Kid has hockey camp and about a million social commitments, so I don't anticipate much blogging time over winter "break."

But it's been a good year, methinks:

The Kid exhibited shocking behavior
My coach was wrong
We met famous people and analyzed their asses
I started a pornographic photography business
Rachael Flatt's mom contacted me because I said this
I hurt the Kid and he got me back
My coach reacted to everything like this

The Kid will continue his award-winning hockey season in January, we'll still be going to Caps games and, assuming Dmytri maintains his saint-like patience, I'll keep working on my illustrious ice dancing career.

Happy holidays to you and yours! May there be tons of ice-related fun in the new year.

Cheers!

It's Just a Game

2011-12-21T16:57:00.000-05:00

Let me preface this post by saying the Kid and I have been skating in some form or other for four years. We've spent a lot of time in local ice rinks. What I saw today is not only rare, this is the one and only time I've seen something like this. Thankfully.

***

I don't typically see a lot of figure skating drama. Oh sure, there's the one skate mom who always looks like she's about to throw up. And once I saw a skater burst into tears because she forgot her skate clothes and Coach Needs-More-Vodka was going to be mad at her for skating in jeans. There are ominous whispers about the scary Russian coaches. That stuff's funny because it's not terribly serious. Unfortunately, I saw something that wasn't funny.

A skate mom went off on her little boy today. He was probably around six years old. Mom yelled at him about his "awful" skating and how "lazy" he is and how his coach was "furious" with him. The little boy looked up at her sadly and asked softly, "Did I do anything good?"

"No!" she yelled at him. And she started pushing him through off-ice exercises and berating him for doing them incorrectly.

My heart was breaking. I suppose I don't really know what happened during the kid's lesson, but I was on the ice at the same time he and his coach were and we skated near each other quite a bit. I didn't see or hear anything that suggested the coach was "furious" or the skater was "lazy."

If you're at Rockville on any given weekend you might hear me screaming, "Kid! Stop running, you'll hurt someone!" or "Watch your stick! You almost hit that woman!" or "Helmet! Mouth guard!" But I don't yell at him for wonky crossovers or bad edges or poor power turns. (He has gotten lectures about not listening to his coaches, I'll admit that.)

These are children. These are sports. It's supposed to be fun.

The boy I saw today was too young to be yelled at like that about skating. He's not preparing for some high-stakes competition. There's no scholarship money on the line yet. His coach's career doesn't hang in the balance. This is a little boy who should be skating because he's having fun. And if his 3-turns aren't perfect...so be it. They will be.

Mom went to the ladies' room and I asked the little boy if he was okay. He shook his head yes. There was no physical violence and the mom never appeared to be going in that direction. The kid didn't seem scared, just sad. I didn't intervene. But later when the mom smiled at me, I didn't smile back.

Every skating parent (hockey and figure skating) I've met has been wonderful...tired, frazzled, stressed, broke maybe...but friendly and good-natured. What I saw today was an anomaly. I hope I never see it again.

Evil Eye

2011-12-19T20:44:00.000-05:00

If you've read more than one post about my skating, you've probably noticed that I regularly refer to Dmytri's raised eyebrow. He does it all the time. My crossovers improve, he raises an eyebrow. My edges suck, he raises an eyebrow. I ask a question...you get the idea...

Thanks to the good people at IceNetwork.com, you too can see what I see.

Adult Skaters Who Amaze Me

2011-12-06T15:26:00.000-05:00

How do you do it? Seriously, all you adult skaters out there who are testing, how do you do it?

I know, you have a crazy Soviet-trained coach who barks at you on a regular basis, you practice your ass off, then you return to the crazy coach who leans back on one skate, folds his arms across his chest, glares and says, "not bad" even though you know what you did was perfect. That I know. That I do.

I often look at my skating friends as "serious" skaters. They have coaches from whom they take private lessons. They don't go ice skating, they go to practice. They skate 2-4 hours a week. They skate at three different rinks, depending on their schedules and they have every rink schedule in their iPads. They have jargon-laden conversations about edges and extension. I do all of this too. But what makes them "serious skaters" and me "recreational" is that they participate in a formalized testing program.

How do you find the courage to skate in front of people who are judging what you're doing?
What motivates you to skate in front of someone who gets to arbitrarily decide if your skating is good enough?
What does it feel like if you pass? If you fail?
What made you decide to take a more formalized approach to skating?
How much wine do you drink?

I'm so impressed by adult skaters who test. I can't imagine doing it. I hate it when people watch me skate. I'm certain I would wither under the gaze of an evaluator. (Hell, I wither under the gaze of my own coach.) You all have something in your DNA that I wish I had.

The longer I skate, the more my friends ask why I'm not testing. Because I'm a big, fat chicken, that's why. Okay, I'm not big or fat, but I am a chicken. That's unlikely to change.

Hockey and Hot Russians

2011-12-04T17:36:00.000-05:00

"It's Hockey Day in America!" the Kid exclaimed. Practice in the morning, a scrimmage in the afternoon and the Caps game in the evening. Add an encounter with a hot Russian ice dancer and BOOM! the Kid had a perfect day.

Actually, it got off to rough start. It was the Kid's first practice with his new team, so he didn't know anyone. To make things worse, we forgot one of his shin guards. Yep, just one. The Kid got on his equipment and I dropped $25 at the pro shop. (That pro shop is making a fortune off parental mistakes. Mostly mine.) The mix up had the Kid all out of sorts but once he got moving he was fine...ice time makes everything better.

I thought after lunch we could drop off his stuff in the locker room and then check out the other hockey games. To my surprise, he wanted to watch the super-talented ice dancers. And then it happened...Elena* saw him. She didn't just give him a casual smile and a quick wave, she got off the ice and walked over to him.

"You look good! How is hockey?! You look so good! You like hockey?!" she asked, shaking him playfully by his shoulder pads. She was all Russian-supermodel-gorgeous. He looked up at me with shining eyes and bright red cheeks, then shyly started to hide behind me. Suddenly my son, who usually can't shut up, was speechless.

More and more hockey players arrived, impatiently stalking the open door to the ice. Hockey parents commented that the figure skaters were "very cool" but the mites thought it would be "very cool" if they'd get the hell off the ice. Several players, my son included, decided to sit on the players bench.

"Okay," I shrugged. "But if you get in trouble by the figure skating coaches, it's your problem, not mine."

Finally it was time for the scrimmage. The players raced around, miniature versions of their NHL counterparts. It's particularly hilarious seeing the tops of their helmets peeking out over the boards as they sit on the bench. Off-sides was challenge. At the end of the game they lined up and shook hands just like the pros. The locker room was full of adrenaline-fueled children excitedly recapping their game and yelling, "See ya tomorrow!"

Because yes, we were doing it all again tomorrow.

*Elena taught the very first skating class he ever took. She was also his first crush.

Wake Up Call

2011-11-20T12:16:00.000-05:00

"We're going out into the cold, cold night," the Kid said, hauling his hockey bag to the car. It was cold, cold, but it wasn't night. It was a little after 6:00 a.m. and we were heading to hockey practice.

Spend more than 30 seconds around parents of hockey players (and figure skaters, for that matter) and pretty soon you'll hear horror stories about morning ice. Bleary-eyed families up at the asscrack of dawn and stumbling into cold ice rinks to work on wrist shots and toe loops. Sometimes I think skating families are solely responsible for driving the success of the insulated coffee mug industry.

There's definitely a different feel at early morning practice. People straggle in late. Players take longer getting their equipment on. (There's a volunteer coach who reminds me of Santa...big, jovial, fun-loving guy. Even he was barking at his son, "Get your skates on!") The locker rooms are colder and even the snack bar (read: source of coffee) isn't open yet.

But I actually like early morning practice. The kids get freshly zammed ice that hasn't been torn up by a previous hockey group or those pesky ice dancers. There's absolutely no traffic to fight on the way to rink. And sometimes...you get to see a beautiful sunrise.

I may or may not have unexpectedly dozed off on the couch before dinner.

Wordless Wednesday: Ready for Christmas Hockey

2011-11-16T10:27:00.001-05:00

Those Were The Days

2011-11-13T19:55:00.000-05:00

What's more fun on a Saturday night than seeing the Washington Capitals take on the New Jersey Devils? Well, a win would've been nice. But a celeb sighting, a trip down memory lane and laughing at Johan Hedberg, who seemed to find the ice particularly slippery, (honey, I'm sure the Caps would let you borrow their skate sharpening machine) made the night worthwhile.

The Kid and I got to the game early, as usual, and hadn't been settled in our seats long before one of the Caps photographers stopped by and asked to take our picture "for the Web site." I had been battling a cold all day, so despite wearing more make-up than your average Olympic ice dancer, I still looked like death warmed over. Sorry lady, no pictures today. She left and the Kid went down to watch warm ups.

When he returned to our seats, I wasn't there. He looked around, not worried that he was seemingly left alone in a huge stadium with thousands of strangers. As far as he's concerned, this is his turf, he's completely comfortable. I had my eye on him the whole time and when I returned to our seats he asked, "Where were you?" Just curious, not concerned.

"I was talking to Caps Girl," I said.

"Caps Girl?! Where?"

Caps Girl writes The Blonde Girl's Guide*, a fun and informative hockey blog focused on the Caps. The Kid and I read it together and we love the pictures she posts. She's the one who inspired the Kid to ask me to post more pictures of him on this blog so he could "be famous." She's a bona fide celebrity in his eyes and he thought it was cool to see her for real.

In between warm ups and the start of the game Marilyn Manson's "The Beautiful People" played on the arena sound system and I sang it to the Kid remembering the good ol' days of the Caps. I love the way the Caps have evolved...the stadium is packed for every game, the sea of red is amazing and the deafening loudness during a game inspires even quiet little me to scream at the refs from time-to-time. And I've gone from not being able to give away to tickets to having an If-You-Can't-go-to-a-Game-I'll-Buy-Your-Tickets list. It wasn't always that way.

Sometimes I get nostalgic for the old days.

No Lines -- After a beer or two, I really hate that now there are long lines in the ladies room. Ditto for the food stands. And the bar.
Hockey Bingo -- When your team doesn't win...ever...you make up things to do during the game, like hockey bingo. It's just like traditional bingo, but you mark off a card with things that could happen during the game -- goalie assist, blood on the ice, drop pass to no one. It gives you a reason to watch the game when the outcome really isn't going to matter.
Peter Bondra, Richard Zednik, Jan Bulis, Yogi Svejkovsky, Chris Simon, Steve Konowalchuk. In no particular order.
Coat chairs -- Now that all the seats are filled, we don't have a seat where we can pile all the coats of the folks in section 115. Now we have to sit on our coats, not terribly comfortable.
Tom -- (Which may or may not be his real name.) He sat behind us and had a voice that...um...carried. He also hated Russian defensemen so Dmitri Mironov and Sergei Gonchar were more than happy to get the hell out of dodge the minute they had a chance. We all complained about him. Of course, he is responsible for establishing the "Flyers suck" cheer for basically everything, so at least some good came of it.
Cleaning out the Inbox -- Couple of hours of bad hockey gives you all kinds of time to sift through the e-mail on your Blackberry. All of section 115 were able to establish that elusive "inbox 0."

Aaaah...the good ol' days. I'm glad they're gone.

*Parents, especially rookie hockey parents: The Blonde Girl's Guide is an excellent resource for learning about the game of hockey and the Washington Capitals. Of note, Caps Girl swears on her blog at about the same rate that I swear on this blog.

ISO: My Ice Dancing Mojo

2011-11-12T13:48:00.000-05:00

"Did you see her? She looked at me like I was a monster!" Dmytri laughed, referring to a little girl who'd scampered away from him.

"Well..." I shrugged.

"But you know me. She doesn't know me!" he said. Yeah, but I've warned the others.

Sometimes I wonder if Dmytri can tell when I'm having a bad day. There were too many people on the ice. I was nervous about edges, based on past experience. I felt stiff doing crossovers. My swing roll timing was a mess. And I felt trippy doing the step-behinds. ("Trippy" being the technical term.) If he noticed, he didn't say anything.

However, he did say things like "I kicked you on purpose" as he tried to get me to do better crossovers and "That's it, that's it, that's not" when I was tripping through step-behinds. I laughed. As we worked on swing rolls he taught me the concept of "tracing," which is brilliant. Basically, if I'm skating on my left foot, I'm supposed to move my right leg around as if my right toe were following in the air where my other skate has been on the ice. Get it, "tracing" what my skating leg had done. This automatically made me turn and my right leg slipped right out to where it's supposed to be at the end of the swing roll.

"That was really helpful," I said, excited. "Why do you always keep these really helpful pieces of information from me?"

"I like to watch you struggle, then I tell you what to do," he answered.

It was time to put it all together into something resembling Rhythm Blues. This is my favorite part. I get a few minutes of feeling like a real ice dancer. Except at this lesson. It took three tries before I finally I got through the whole thing. Epic fail.

"It's faster to music," Dmytri explained while I tried to commit the whole thing to memory.

"Can we try one last time?" I asked sheepishly.

We did (he's such a good sport) and at the end he said, "That was close to the right speed."

So, what's a rookie ice dancer to do when she seems to have lost her dancing mojo? There's an app for that. US Figure Skating recently released a series of apps called "Skate Coach." I haven't actually purchased an app yet, but it seems useful - written instruction, diagrams and videos are included. Stick tap to US Figure Skating for including a hockey app as well. Could be worth the $1.99 investment.

It might be a while before my next lesson (my calendar and Dmytri's aren't cooperating), so I have some time to practice the bejeezus out of this dance. Next time I see Dmytri, I'll be the queen of this...

One Mite's Treasure

2011-11-05T15:33:00.000-04:00

The Kid and I have very different perspectives on how much time we should spend at the Rockville Ice Arena. I think we should get there in time to put on his equipment, get him on and off the ice, take off the equipment and leave. He would spend the whole day there if he could...and today we almost did.

He was in rink three again. Cold, miserable rink three. He nailed a cool power turn drill, actually attempted crossovers during the crossover drills (with mite hockey players crossovers tend to be optional during the crossover drills, especially backward) and he had a blast slamming pucks against the glass. (Working on those wrist shots, I guess.) As the clock ticked down the mites started asking the coaches, "Can we stay longer?"

"No," one coach answered. The mites groaned and complained about the unfairness of it all.

After practice the Kid meandered through the lobby, looking in on the other hockey games, dodging learn-to-skaters and repeatedly asking if there was a stick-and-puck session later. He even suggested we stay for the public session.

"I don't have my skates," I said.

"Wait Mum-mum! I want to watch Coach Mike!"

He was also complaining that he was starving. Which is how we ended up eating at the rink. He and three other boys climbed up to the counter with their peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. They were like miniature men at a bar, talking sports and drinking...milk. The parents were relegated to the booths behind them.

I think I wasted an entire Saturday in an ice rink. The Kid thinks he had the best day ever.

Bargain Hunting

2011-11-03T15:32:00.000-04:00

While checking out the vendors at this year's Caps Convention, I met the woman organizing Try Hockey for Free Day in partnership with USA Hockey, the NHL, the Washington Capitals, Let's Move! and One-Goal. It's happening this Saturday, November 5 at more than 430 locations across the country, including a few that are sort of in the Washington, DC area. This is a chance for kids ages 4-9 to try playing a little hockey before their parents lock them into six weeks worth of skating lessons they may not really want to take. (Although, if your kid ends up liking hockey, it's damn-near impossible to get them off the ice. Don't say I didn't warn you.)

You can register your kids here. And rinks interested in hosting a Try Hockey for Free Day on February 18, 2012 can apply to do so here. I'm looking at you Wheaton Ice Arena, Cabin John Ice Rink, Rockville Ice Arena and Kettler Capitals IcePlex.

So get those munchkins signed up! And someone let me know who's planning Try Figure Skating for Free Day.

Wordless Wednesday: Stretch

2011-11-02T10:34:00.000-04:00

Chicken

2011-10-29T18:33:00.000-04:00

We were working on crossrolls and Dmytri was skating backward in front of me. This makes me nervous for two reasons: 1) he skates backward so calmly it sort of freaks me out, and 2) I'm afraid I'm going to run into him.

"You're not going to run into me," he insisted. "You wouldn't run into me even if we were skating together." He started skating with me. Why doesn't he warn me when something really cool is about to happen?!

"Oh!" I stopped skating and started giggling. I was a little panicked that Dmytri was doing backward crossrolls. (The man is fearless.) But mostly I was surprised that when we did it together, we coasted into place beside each other even though it looked like we were skating one in front of the other. I find these illusions fascinating. I'm also starting to wonder if anything I see when I watch figure skating is really what I think it is.

"Okay, let's see your progress on step-behinds," he said, and we spent the next few minutes with Dmytri crouched down bending my knees and ankles as if I were a lame horse.

"I wouldn't do this with a horse," he said, clearly underestimating my ability to bury my toepick in his skull if provoked. Lucky for him, I was having fun. I had marginally better luck crossing my right foot behind my left, but I wasn't even close to crossing my left foot behind my right.

"Why you chicken up on that one?" Dmytri asked.

As we were taking off our skates, we discussed Halloween costumes.

"I'm just going to wear my skates and be Evil Dmytri," he said.

I'm officially scared.

Wordless Wednesday: My Life

2011-10-26T10:07:00.000-04:00

Zam Cut

2011-10-24T10:13:00.000-04:00

Time to take a short blogging break. The Kid will still be playing hockey, I'll still be skating, we'll both still be going to Caps games and I'll be watching some figure skating (on tape-delay, no spoilers please!) There will be plenty to discuss when I get back. In the meantime, I'm letting the Zamboni do it's job. Blog readers deserve good ice.

Punishment

2011-10-17T10:24:00.000-04:00

Something rare happened when the Washington Capitals played the Ottawa Senators over the weekend. I went to the game without the Kid. You see, he's been getting in trouble at school. Nothing major, but repeat offenses, so I took the game away from him to try to break the cycle. He loves hockey and he loves the Caps. He was crushed. There were tears.

I made so many discoveries being at the game without him:

It's fun to watch the interaction of the players during warm ups, who's focused, who's playful, who might have new skates. When the Kid is there, I watch him watching warm ups.
Games are a lot quieter when I don't have someone asking 700,000 questions the entire time.
There are awesome Christmas gift ideas in the store and in the stations along the concourse. I might even get something for the Kid.
There are food options other than Papa John's.
The Green Turtle sliders aren't as bad as they look.
Hard Times needs to sell Texas chili.
I could drink beer! Lots and lots of beer.
(I apparently have an obsession with arena food.)

Then the scoreboard showed the Kid cheering and I got choked up. The Kid makes games like Saturday's bearable. Games where the Caps' play is lackluster. (Dear Caps: there are three periods, don't be afraid to play them all.) Still, it was nice to leave the game without Kid insisting, "Mum-mum! We have to see the three stars of the game!" And I was able to walk up the steps to the exit without admonishing anyone to "watch where you're going!"

But I missed my little hockey buddy. He better not get in trouble at school this week, because seeing the Caps take on the Red Wings without him would be punishment for me too.

MIA

2011-10-09T14:49:00.000-04:00

I was missing in action at the Washington Capitals home opener. Over the past few weeks, DCGiant has allowed me to go to Caps Convention and Ice Champions Live. I felt like I owed him one, so I agreed to let him take the Kid to the game. This meant I saw Sasha care from the couch. I cursed Carlson's penalties in my PJs. I held my breath alone through overtime. And I toasted Green's OT GWG by myself with a lovely Malbec. It's the last time I'll make such a sacrifice.

In case you missed it too, here are highlights.

Confused...but not Scared

2011-10-05T21:00:00.001-04:00

"You know how crossovers are usually one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight? Well now they're going to be one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight."

I stared blankly. Dmytri laughed at me. Since it was obvious my Russian Ice Dancer Mind Reading powers were malfunctioning, he demonstrated.

There's a funky crossover maneuver in Rhythm Blues that requires bobbing up and down on one foot, then doing a normal crossover, then doing a crossover and holding the crossed-over part. We practiced it a few times, then Dmytri tacked it onto essentially the first part of the Dutch Waltz. We started skating and I thought we'd stop after the crossovers, but Dmytri kept going. Since he's good at giving direction and I'm good at following direction, I kept going too. Until he said...

"Step back."

"Oh no, no, no!" I exclaimed, bailing out on him. The last time I tried step-behinds I'd stepped on the back of my own skate blade. Trust me, no good can come of this.

We moved aside to practice and Dmytri set up to spot me.

"Don't help me like that!" I snapped, uncomfortable with the way he was skating behind me.

"Then I won't help you at all!" he snapped back, proving we both can act like petulant children.

We compromised.

"If you start to lose your balance, just push down on me," Dmytri said.

"Won't you fall over backwards?"

"No!!" he exclaimed, looking at me like I was the crazy one. I laughed at his incredulity.

We ran through it all a few times. Dmytri accused me of collapsing every time he "put a little pressure" on me. (Sorry, I'm not used to holding up grown men on ice skates.) I didn't really do the crossing part of the step-behinds. And Dmytri talked a lot about relaxing, because after two years he still hasn't figured out I'm never relaxed on the ice.

This is a little more complex than what I've done up 'til now, which is cool. And Dmytri seems to have raised his expectations, as if they weren't high enough. Bring it on, baby! I can do this.

Watch at Your Own Risk

2011-10-02T21:16:00.000-04:00

After reading the sign above I started having second thoughts about the seat I'd chosen for Ice Champions Live. Soon I found myself teetering on a bar stool on the ice at Kettler Capitals Iceplex feeling a little discombobulated because I was about to watch figure skating on ice I normally watch hockey. I had a blast! But like I did at Stars on Ice, I found plenty to be snarky about (I get serious at the end.) Here are some topline thoughts:

Men should wear pants -- Just when I get to a point where I'm starting to think male figure skaters can be sexy, Bert Cording and Natalia Zaitseva ruin it. There is nothing attractive or entertaining about a man figure skating in a dress that looks like something my grandmother used to wear.
Ditto on women lifting men -- It was interesting, but kind of weird to see Sinead Kerr pick up John Kerr and carry him around. That said, at my next skating lesson, I'm totally flinging Dmytri over my shoulder and dutch waltzing down the ice.
Tots on ice never get old -- Nathan Chen was so freakin' awesome! Tons of energetic and exciting skating. It was the first time in a while that I've seen a young skater have such an fun and age-appropriate routine. I also wanted to make him a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and tie his skates for him. I will adopt him if someone else will pay his skating expenses.
I found another dress -- Agnes Zawadzki had a beautiful dress. It's perfect for me. After I make the skirt longer and re-enforce the top. What can I say, I'm old and my boobs are bigger than hers.
Skaters jump when they damn well feel like it -- Ilia Kulik saved his best jumping for the curtain call. How very Russian of him.
Brian Boitano didn't fall! -- This was important since I was being accused on jinxing his performance.
Michael Weiss skating to ACDC was awesome -- Until it made me feel old.

Ice Champions Live is a fundraiser to help skaters cover the expenses associated with figure skating. There was a silent auction and I almost fell for the practice journal and the skating lessons. Then I thought about how I'd have to explain to Dmytri that I was taking a spin class with someone other than him and decided there just isn't enough vodka to get me through that.

Figure skating is kind of like hockey in that when you see it live, it can really rope you in. Assuming they have it again next year, I would encourage people to go and definitely sit on the ice if you can. It's (almost) as fun as rockin' the red.

Who's to Blame?

2011-09-21T08:58:00.000-04:00

"The Caps had bad ice last night," the Kid observed at breakfast. He was reading the Washington Post coverage of the first preseason game. "There must have been a freestyle session before the game. Figger skaters always mess up the ice."

Then he looked up at me, worried he had offended me. "Not you, Mum-mum," he reassured me. "Only the good figger skaters mess up the ice."

Heartbroken

2011-09-19T17:04:00.001-04:00

"Mum-mum, don't say you hate my skates," the Kid said as I tied them. I chuckled.

"Yeah, I say that all the time. Is it starting to annoy you?"

"It upsets me," he said softly. He looked down at me with big brown eyes and continued. "I picked these skates out all by myself. I didn't pick them because they were shiny, I picked them because they were comfortable. You don't like them."

Oh man. I really screwed up this time. Ever since the Kid got his new skates, I've complained about them. I don't like the laces and I don't like that they already are tremendously beat up even though the Kid takes really good care of them. His other skates held up so much better. I may even have told him that we're never getting this kind of skates again.

The kind of skates he put some real thought into before he chose them.

I apologized and acknowledged that it wasn't fair for me to judge the skates because I'm not skating in them. I conceded that he knows what feels best and I should respect that. He seemed satisfied with my apology. I still feel like shit.

They All Fall Down

2011-09-16T17:23:00.000-04:00

When I fall ice skating it really rattles me. Taking Dmytri down with me? Oh my god! We were fixing my edges when I completely lost my balance. Everything happened in slow motion -- I started to fall to the side, slipped when I put my other skate down, caught my toepick. I was waiting for the hard slam into the ice. I may have uttered obscenities.

I bobble all the time during my skating lessons and Dmytri casually reaches out to stabilize me. This time he was falling too, his skates stomped hard on the ice and I could feel him using some serious muscle to keep us vertical. Miraculously, he stopped us from falling. I was shaking so badly I could barely stand.

"Breathe," Dmytri said gently. He pretty quickly made me do the exact same thing again (the edges, not the falling.) I was petrified, but I did it. (I don't think I breathed though.)

We started working on step behinds. (I think that's what they're called.) Dmytri skated on his right foot, slid his left skate down the back of his right leg to the ice (ankles crossed), then picked up his right foot and slid his right skate down the back of his left leg to the ice. All while moving forward. There's some serious toe pick danger involved.

"Are you sure I should be learning this on the same day I almost killed us?" I asked.

He added a crossover at the beginning and we did it over and over. I needed a lot of help and several times I didn't actually do the crossing back part. When I asked why I was learning this, Dmytri explained we're now working on a new dance -- Rhythm Blues (video below).

"Do you really think I'm ready for this?" I asked.

"You need to have a challenge," he said, as if we hadn't learned earlier that edges are a challenge.

So the coach who was reluctant to teach me the Dutch Waltz apparently has had a change of heart. Is it possible that I have ice dancing potential?

Following is video of Rhythm Blues, step behinds come in around the 30 second mark, an interesting view of them is at the 57 second mark.

Chaos and Overcoaching

2011-09-12T10:42:00.000-04:00

I'm finding I have a fairly high tolerance for hockey-related chaos. When you have three sheets of ice, hundreds of hockey players of all ages, hundreds of parents, and all that equipment...well, the Rockville Ice Arena becomes a loud, smelly and totally fun hockey mess.

Several kids were holding a loud debate over who is the best current Caps player. "Ovechkin! Backstrom! Laich! Green!" The correct answer is Halpern.

One mom had a very impressive meltdown. "Put your shoes on!" she screamed. And I was scared enough to make sure I had mine on.

Kids tossed hockey tape to each other, sorted out water bottles, discussed hockey drills and talked about which coaches are cool and which ones are mean.

Parents yelled, "Focus!"

I felt kind of sorry for the learn-to-skate folks looking wide-eyed at the riotous scene around them and quietly tying their rental skates.

During the month of September the good people with the Montgomery Youth Hockey Association (MYHA) are conducting what my family is calling "training camp." Kid skates every Saturday and Sunday working on a variety of drills -- skating and stickhandling -- and then will be assigned a team. MYHA relies heavily on parent volunteers, so six stations are set up on the ice and dads (this isn't sexist, they're literally all dads) run the drills.

Rob Keegan is the Director of Coaching and oversees basically everything with MYHA. He held a very informative meeting with parents in which he explained the program and managed some wild parent expectations. I was relieved to hear the kids would get quality playing time.

"These kids are overcoached," Keegan explained. "We all learned hockey by playing it on ponds. They learn by playing."

The Kid loves this policy as much as I do. All of these youngsters have worked hard taking skating lessons and participating in hockey instructional programs. Now they get to have fun with the skills they've developed. This is awesome!

MYHA anticipated having about 90 kids register for house mites. They ended up with 150. Their Atoms program has served as a model for other youth hockey programs. They manage to strike a balance between having fun and developing strong hockey skills. But perhaps most importantly, this weekend MYHA had hundreds of sweaty little kids, glowing red cheeks and bright shining smiles, happy and having fun playing hockey.

Once Upon A Dream

2011-09-07T20:21:00.002-04:00

I always thought it would be cool to have the ice all to myself. I imagined I would twirl around just like those Disney-on-Ice princesses. Oh, who am I kidding? At my age I'd be cast as the evil stepmother. Well today, I got the ice to myself.

It was just me and Euroskater at practice today. He got off the ice for a little break, leaving me all alone. Oh, this is gonna be fun! I started doing this, as if I were Sleeping Beauty. She's my favorite princess - best tiara, best dress and who doesn't like a nap now and then? I didn't pay attention to extension or edges or elbows. I just glided around singing in my head.

Pretty soon Euroskater came back. He could have skated up behind me and swept me off in a romantic embrace. But he didn't. Guess he's not the romantic type. I went back to real practice...whistling Tchaikovsky.

30 Seconds of Ice Dancing Terror

2011-09-02T16:27:00.001-04:00

This is what happened when I told my perfectionist ice dancing coach that I think ice dancing is fun.

"You've spent two years yapping at me to bend my knees and now you want me to straighten them?!" I complained.

Dmytri skated away laughing at the word "yapping." I chased after him trying to organize the information spinning around in my head. We were working on basics - stroking, crossovers, edges. "That's good!" he would say encouragingly. Then he'd launch into everything I needed to fix. My edges were wrong, my extension was bad, my elbow wasn't straight, my hips...oh yeah, there's a complex waiting to happen.

Eventually it was time to put it all together into something resembling a Dutch Waltz. Dmtryi counted and directed as we went.

"You're really good at this!" he said.

Knowing that I'm an awful skater, I shoved him aside and said, "Shut up! You're teasing me!"

"No really," he clarified. "Usually it's hard for people to learn to listen to instruction and skate at the same time. You can do that."

I think it's amazing that Dmytri can walk me through it the way he does. He's counting and directing simultaneously and has to time it so I can hear it, process it and act on it. And he's doing it in a second (maybe third) language. Very impressive.

"It's a lot faster when you do it to music," Dmytri explained.

"Can we try it that fast?" I asked. He hesitated, I'd definitely overstepped with this request.

"Never mind. That's a bad idea." I said. But he said we could try.

At my last lesson, when we first started doing this dance, I worked really hard to demonstrate that I had the potential to learn it. Dmytri's strong, so I had to skate as hard as I could to show him I wasn't just holding on and letting him propel me around the ice. Today when we did it fast...

It was about 30 seconds of sheer terror!

"Oh my God! All I could do was hold on for dear life!" I exclaimed, laughing when the ride ended.

"But you kept going," Dmytri pointed out approvingly. "You didn't give up."

No, I didn't give up. And I won't give up on all the details we worked on either. There's an ice dancing diva buried deep in this hockey fan and she's dying to get out.

Just Another Hockey Dad

2011-09-01T13:06:00.001-04:00

I was sitting in the lobby at the Rockville Ice Arena when suddenly I was staring unbelievably at George McPhee. If I'd seen him at Kettler or the Verizon Center, I wouldn't have thought anything of it. But at Rockville? The Kid skates at Rockville. I skate at Rockville. George McPhee does not skate at Rockville. Like an idiot, I kept staring. And then I had a surprising conversation with GMGM.

When the Kid came out of the restroom, I did what any self-respecting hockey mom would do. I giggled excitedly, "Look! It's George McPhee."

The Kid may have rolled his eyes at my schoolgirl reaction, but he did ask, "Can I go talk to him?" Um...immediately.

The Kid was a little shy for about a nanosecond, but McPhee beckoned the him over and I snapped a great picture of the two of them. Actually, Kid looks a little goofy wearing a t-shirt and hockey pants, but they both have great smiles and McPhee is hugging him like they're old friends.

"Is that a good one?" McPhee asked. "Are you sure?" He sounded genuinely concerned about whether or not the picture turned out okay.

I pretty quickly ushered the Kid away to get his equipment on. "Kid, gotta get dressed?" McPhee asked, using the Kid's real name. "Get to it!"

"Do you skate here often?" I asked. Yep, I basically used a bad pick-up line on the Caps' GM.

He explained that he was there with his kid. He told me about the level his kid is playing at and how sometimes he'll scamper up to Rockville in the summer and skate while his kid's practicing.

"It gets harder once the season starts," he said. And I marveled at how casually he said "the season." He's talking about the NHL season, the Washington Capitals' season, in the same matter-of-fact tone I use to refer to the Kid's mite season. In fact, any non-Caps' fan may have assumed he was talking about his kid's hockey season. Now that I think about it, maybe he was.

He asked about my son, just like any other hockey dad. And I told him about the Kid, as if I were talking to any other hockey dad. I didn't tell him we've been Caps season ticket holders for years. I didn't tell him about this cool thing that happened at a Caps game. I didn't say anything about the new make up of the team or hopes for the upcoming season. In fact, neither one of us uttered the word "Caps."

I stood in the lobby of a local ice rink casually talking youth hockey with the general manager of a highly successful professional hockey team. Just one more example of what makes this sport so special.

Hockey Axels

2011-08-25T20:44:00.001-04:00

Russian figure skater extraordinaire, Coach Needs-More-Vodka, should host a "just axels" clinic for the Montgomery Youth Hockey Association. Here's why.

Coach Mike lined up five players. They were supposed to race to center ice, jump, turn in the air, land and skate backward.

Tiny mite hockey players raced to center ice...

...stopped, turned around and skated backwards.

Let's try this again.

Tiny mite hockey players raced to center ice, jumped...

...landed, turned around and skated backward.

Third time's a charm.

Tiny mite hockey players raced to center ice, slowed down significantly, jumped, turned in the air and...

...landed on their tiny mite asses.

Hockey players don't have toe picks to propel them into the air. They don't have nice long figure skate blades to land on. Someone get down the jump harness, this is gonna take a while.

Back-to-Skating

2011-08-14T16:29:00.002-04:00

Fall is my favorite time of year. I love that back-to-school feeling when you're sure you can learn anything (dutch waltzes anyone?) and the heat goes away to be replaced by crisp autumn air, pumpkin patching and apple picking. While you're in that back-to-school spirit, why not sign up for ice skating or hockey lessons? Wouldn't it be fun to add "ice skates, hockey sticks and a new skate bag" to your back-to-school shopping list?

Here are some of the local programs available, with some smartass editorial comment from me. (You expect anything less?)

Cabin John Ice Rink and Wheaton Ice Arena

Classes start September 8th
Fees range from $48 - $144 depending on the class
Fees cover six 30 or 45 minute classes, a practice card for six or nine public sessions, skate rental for lessons and practice
You can register here.
For youth hockey players: The Washington Capitals have provided hockey equipment to the Wheaton Ice Arena that skaters can register to borrow. All equipment must be returned at the end of the six-week session. This is a great way to avoid buying a bunch of expensive equipment for beginning hockey players who may decide they don't like playing hockey as much as watching it.

The Gardens Ice House

Learn-to-Skate: Classes begin September 10th. Fees range from $102 - $119, which includes a weekly 25 minute lesson, skate rental for lessons, six practice sessions (you have to rent your own skates for practice) and a US Figure Skating test badge. (Adult Skaters: trust me, you want the test badge. I still have all the ribbons from the classes I passed. It's true.)
Instructional Hockey: Starts September 17th. $139 gets you a weekly 45 minute lesson, helmet, skates, knee and elbow pads and first-time registrants get a stick and Caps jersey. Players must be 12 or younger and have passed LTS Basic 2 or Tot 3.

Of note: The Gardens Ice House Web site has a helpful ISI-USFS conversion chart. I wish other Web sites did the same. *cough, cough*

Kettler Capitals IcePlex

Learn-to-Skate: Classes begin August 27th. They've got a ton of different offerings in LTS, instructional hockey and more advanced figure skating (I'm told this is new.) It's all broken down here.
Hockey: House mini-mites, Squirt and Peewee are full, but you still can get on a waitlist. Here's the youth hockey brochure.

Montgomery Youth Hockey Association

The House Mite, Squirt, Peewee and Bantam levels are full; however, if you're interested in getting a kid on a team, be sure to get on the waiting list. From what I'm told, expanding the program may be an option if there are enough people filling up waiting lists. Alternatively, try the Instructional Program. It is AWESOME. $720 - $735 for the fall program. There are sessions at both Rockville and Cabin John.

Of note: Coach Mike is da bomb. I may have a hockey crush on him. And his voice. "Backward between the bluelines! Backward between the bluelines!" It's damn-near musical.

Rockville Ice Arena

Learn-to-Skate: Classes begin September 10th. $121 covers seven 30 minute lessons, seven practice sessions, skate rental for lessons and practice.
Hockey Initiation Program: $180 covers seven 60 minute lessons, seven public skating/stick-and-puck sessions, some equipment and membership in the Caps Kids Club (which, by the way, gets you free skating at KCI.)

Of note: Rockville is the coldest ice arena in all of creation. Rink Two is particularly cold. Don't say I didn't warn you.

If there's anything out there that isn't listed here, but should be, leave a comment or shoot me an email at icepact.mer11@gmail.com.

Otherwise, I hope everyone gets the (skating) teacher they want this year.

So You Think You Can Dance?

2011-08-11T21:21:00.010-04:00

The night before my last skating lesson, I asked Dmytri if he could teach me the Dutch Waltz (video here.) Because he's fearless, he always says yes to my crazy ideas. This time, he didn't say yes.

"It's a couple of crossovers and a kick," I texted, pinot noir fueling my courage. "How hard can it be?"

"You see tomorrow," Dmytri texted ominously.

I thought learning this dance would be a fun little add-on, but that's not how Dmytri works. He gave me a detailed tutorial on dance test tracks, he explained three different "positions" (Kilian, Foxtrot, Waltz -- I think?), and using a marker he mapped out on the hockey glass what I'd be doing. I listened intently, refusing to be intimidated. I can match Dmytri's intensity and I was going to prove it.

We started stroking and Dmytri started the commentary, "Good. Really good. That's it. Very good."

As we came to a stop he said, "When you're in the right position you can really skate!" He didn't even try to hide his surprise.

Eventually we put all the pieces together -- crossovers, edges, swing rolls. Here's a diagram of what I was doing. With Dmytri directing and counting, I did it. I may even have done it well, at least for a first attempt. Dmytri seemed genuinely shocked.

I have to admit, I loved this! I loved being able to put pieces together. I mean, you can only do so many botched 3-turns before you want to open a vein with a skate blade.

"Last night I was pessimistic, but this was good," Dmytri admitted.

Yeah, (with Dmytri's coaching) I think I can dance.

Red Walkers

2011-08-10T15:23:00.001-04:00

Recently I went skating at a rink that had walkers (pictured above.) Walkers are bad. Bad. Bad. Bad. The theory behind them is that beginning skaters can use them for stability to help get used to being on skates. But the execution (or at least what I saw of it) is flawed.

The walkers were too big. I can see where a little kid (say 3-4 years old) might benefit from a walker, but these walkers were too tall for tykes. In fact, they were too tall for my seven year-old. Actually, they were the perfect height for me. (I'm 5' 2" short.)
The walkers gave skaters a false sense of security. The kids using them were "skating" fast and carelessly. With the walkers they felt invincible, like they couldn't fall. But they could. And they did.
The walkers increased chances for injury. Kids using them were leaning forward on the walkers. When they would fall they fell forward, cracking their heads on the metal bars and their chins on the ice. Without the walkers, the kids would be better positioned to fall on their behinds, or the very least, their knees. Let's face it folks, falling on your ass provides more padding than falling on your face.
The walkers became dangerous projectiles. Every time a kid fell the walker would go flying across the ice. There were several times I had to duck-and-cover for fear of being clocked by an airborne walker.
The sound the walkers made hurt...literally. Nails on a chalkboard. The dentist drill. Seven year-old whining. Pick the most annoying noise you can think of, it doesn't compare to the sound of these metal walkers scraping along the ice.

I understand being afraid of skating. I really understand since I'm basically petrified the entire time I'm on the ice. Gear up with a helmet, knee pads, even one of those butt protectors figure skaters use then they start jumping. Wrap yourself in bubble wrap if you must. But unless you're taking a tot class, leave the walkers off the ice.

Figure Skating Withdrawal

2011-08-01T10:51:00.002-04:00

It's been about six weeks since I had a skating lesson. My calendar, Dmytri's calendar and the rink's calendar refuse to cooperate. I love my skating lessons, so this makes me sad. This makes my skating even sadder. I hope to get at least one lesson in August. Dmytri found us some ice. I found some child care. Assuming all the planets align, something might just work out. Let's hope it does; otherwise, in September, Dmytri's teaching me one-foot glides...again.

He Loves Me

2011-07-28T16:02:00.001-04:00

I'm fairly certain the viewing counter at the Wheaton Ice Arena has seen its share of tears. Figure skaters crying because they haven't been passed by Coach Needs-More-Vodka. Ice dancer parents crying as they write checks to cover sequins expenses. But recently, a lone hockey mom sat at that snack bar in tears.

The Kid circled around working on his wrist shot and I settled in on the bleachers to read my book. When a mouse ran under the bench I was sitting on, I decided to hang out outside the rink at the viewing counter. I would be able to watch the Kid through the glass and, more importantly, I'd be able to sit on a very tall bar stool.

Eventually the Kid made eye contact with me and shook off one of his gloves. I expected him to adjust his elbow pad or put his mouthguard back in his mouth (excellent idea.) Instead, using sign language, he said, "I love you."

I smiled and signed back, "I love you."

And I blinked back tears as he skated away.

Rethinking "That Mom"

2011-07-23T16:00:00.001-04:00

I now have a completely different view on "That Mom." Anyone with a kid who is involved in extracurricular activities -- sports, dance, music, underwater basket weaving -- has encountered That Mom. (Can also be a dad, but for the purposes of this post, let's just say "mom" and focus on hockey and figure skating.) That Mom forces her kid to practice for hours, compete in countless tournaments and competitions, attend every single skating/hockey camp on the planet. By all appearances, skating is more about That Mom than That Kid. But looks can be deceiving. I know because this week I looked like That Mom.

The Kid attended hockey camp at the Wheaton Ice Arena. Every day he spent three hours playing hockey. One day he spent all morning at Wheaton, then we scampered up to the Rockville Ice Arena for more hockey. And on the final day of camp he spent five hours on ice. Since it was literally 107 degrees outside, I didn't complain that I was camped out in ice rinks all week.

Anyone who saw us might have assumed I was That Mom, forcing my kid to spend every free moment playing hockey. I can assure you it wasn't me who wanted all this hockey time. It also wasn't me who wanted all this hockey laundry. This is what the Kid wanted. He was so happy all week and kept pointing out how cool it was to be playing so much hockey. He sighed dreamily one day, "I love hockey." He even wants me to sign him up for another hockey camp that's happening next week.

So the next time I see a mom obsessing over yet another hour of ice dancing, or a dad tying hockey skates for the third time in one day, I'm not going to assume these are parents living vicariously through their children. I'm going to consider that they're in the same position I am, just trying to keep up with a child's insatiable ice habit.

Naked Hockey

2011-07-18T15:47:00.001-04:00

The Kid had hockey camp at the Wheaton Ice Arena. His favorite coach was there and there was another coach who, on ice, looked eerily like Richard Zednik. The players did an off-ice-breaker where they told their names, their favorite hockey team and their favorite hockey player. One kid said his favorite team was the Penguins and his favorite player Sidney Crosby and another chose the Rangers and Sean Avery. That's just bad parenting.

At camp, the players learned how to put on their own equipment. Some of the other parents were worried about this. Not me. The Kid has been putting on his own equipment since the beginning. I just tape his socks and tie his skates. (Obnoxious bragging. Sorry.) Sadly, taking off his equipment ended up being problematic and I ended up being pissed.

It usually takes the Kid about 15 minute to change back into street clothes. Ten minutes after the players had left the ice, some of them started trickling out of the locker room. At 15 minutes I expected to see the Kid. And I did...walking out in his t-shirt and all of his equipment from the waist down.

"What's wrong?" I asked, following him out into the hallway.

"I'm looking for my soakers," he answered, distractedly. Like the soakers had suddenly grown feet and walked out to the skate exchange.

I ushered him back into the locker room and implored him to focus. It took him 30 minutes to get his equipment off. Thirty freakin' minutes! The locker room was completely empty, except my son. He was feeling hot, tired and unfocused. I was feeling hot, tired and impatient. We exchanged words.

By the time we finished lunch everything was fine and we had a great afternoon. But I swear if he ever takes that long again, I'm taking him home naked.

Just Hockey Players

2011-07-14T20:02:00.000-04:00

One of my favorite things about the summer instructional program put together by the Montgomery Youth Hockey Association is that all the kids, no matter what age, do all the same drills. Everyone has to skate "backward between the blue lines! Backward between the blue lines!" And whether you're five or 15, everyone is doing the full-ice crossover drills.

A typical session goes something like this: warming up with different exercises between the blue lines - skating on one foot, skating backward, lunges, full-speed skating. The Kid loves the full-speed skating. Shocker. Then they break the ice down into 3-4 stations where the kids do different drills - edges, crossovers, hockey stops, stickhandling, 3-on-3, etc. While they break the players up into groups based on age to go through these stations, the little guys still do the exact same exercises as the big guys.

It must be so cool to be seven years old and be doing the exact same hockey drills as 15 year-olds! Because 15 year-olds are like real men, you know.

"Kid, isn't it great that you do all the same hockey drills as the big kids?" I asked on the way home from a recent practice.

The Kid shrugged and said nonchalantly, "Of course I do. I'm a hockey player."

Video Evidence

2011-07-11T19:12:00.019-04:00

I suppose I owe my skating coach an apology.

All those times he snapped, "Bend your knees!"

And I snapped back, "I am!" I wasn't.

And when he barked, "Crossover deeper!"

And I barked back, "I am!" I wasn't.

And when he grumbled, "Straighten your leg!"

And I grumbled back, "I am!" I wasn't.

A long time ago Dmytri threatened to video tape me skating and put it on YouTube. If he had, I would have killed him. I was fairly certain if I ever saw myself ice skating I would quit. Immediately. But a lot of people I know tape their lessons and practices, and pragmatically, I see the value in it. If I see my mistakes I can fix them. Or quit.

I took my camera to the rink for a test run, just to see if I would even be able to get the right angles to pick up anything useful. With the help of a friend, I figured it out. I taped myself doing crossovers and those edges exercises. And watching it wasn't as bad as I expected. Once I got over the oh-my-God-that's-how-I-look-on-camera reaction, I was able to concentrate on my skating (or lack thereof.) I actually didn't look as wobbly as I feel, which may explain why Dmytri always insists I'm more stable than I think I am. But the times I thought my legs were nice and stretched out, they weren't. And the crossovers I thought were okay, maybe even kind of good...they weren't. Still, it wasn't a total disaster and I won't quit skating after all.

I will, however, quit talking back to my coach. Video evidence proves he knows what he's talking about.

Lies

2011-07-06T21:42:00.000-04:00

Hockey players lie about their injuries and illnesses. A player says he has a sprained ankle, it's probably back spasms. Says he has a toothache, probably a torn ACL. So when Rachael Flatt stirred up all kinds of controversy by competing injured, I had to laugh. Where Ms. Flatt went wrong wasn't in competing injured, it was admitting it. Girlfriend needs to talk to a couple hockey players about how to not disclose injuries. In fact, she can start with my son.

As we were driving home from hockey practice the Kid sat in the back seat all sweaty and gross and confessed, "Mum-mum, this morning my stomach still hurt, but I didn't tell you because I was afraid you wouldn't let me go to hockey."

Are you kidding me?! Frank Carroll wasn't nearly as pissed off about the Rachael situation as I was about this. You see, I had spent the previous three days holding the Kid's head while he puked his ever-living guts out. I had taken him to doctors appointments, snuggled with him at the hospital, washed countless loads of contaminated sheets and blankets. I hadn't slept in days! All so he could lie to me about feeling better just to go to hockey practice! Practice! It wasn't a goddamn playoff game! Just practice! If he got sick again...

Thing is, the kid knows his sport. He knows hockey players play through illness and injury. And he loves it so much he was willing to do the same. He also knew the only way he could play was convincing me he was feeling better. While part of me is furious that he lied so he could play hockey when he probably should have taken one more day to rest, part of me admires his dedication and passion.

So Rachael honey, talk to my seven year-old...he'll show you how it's done.

Intermission

2011-07-03T10:53:00.004-04:00

We've been here.

Which means we haven't been here.

But now we're back and can return to our skating-related insanity. Stay tuned...

New Jersey

2011-06-23T13:30:00.000-04:00

Big news! The players got their jerseys. All around the lobby of the Rockville Ice Arena you could hear little voices asking, "Is it mine? Do I get to take it home? Can I wear it every time I skate?" Forget college scholarships or NHL signing bonuses, these kids were damn-near giddy with excitement about these flaming yellow jerseys. No more wearing the beat up Ovechkin jersey, looking like a hockey wanna-be. They're real hockey players now.

And the Kid may have received a magic jersey because he had the best skate ever. Backwards skating was better, hockey stops improved enough to get a helmet tap and fist pump from the coach and his edges looked good again.

"The coach kept saying 'change feet, change feet!' He was trying to trick me," the Kid laughed. Yeah, I hate it when coaches try to trick you with proper instruction.

After playing hockey for an hour, the Kid peeled off his equipment and put it in his bag. Except for the jersey. He insisted on putting on that sweaty, disgusting jersey for the ride home. Open the sun roof, roll down the windows, you won't notice a thing.

In the parking lot I told the Kid I was very proud of his work during his lesson and I gave him a hug and a kiss on the head.

"Mum-mum! Don't kiss me!" he exclaimed, completely appalled. "Give me a fist pump!"

Yep, he's a real hockey player now.

Figure Skating Hits

2011-06-17T20:16:00.000-04:00

The Boston Bruins and Vancouver Canucks have inspired Dmytri to add some grit to my skating. As you will see, my lessons are changing dramatically.

We began with a quick tutorial on hockey stops (my request), but pretty soon he started doing Pretzel Swizzles. Here's video of someone (not my coach) doing regular swizzles. Instead of having my toes come together at the end like in the video, Dmytri wanted me to cross my legs, both skates on the ice, then untangle them again. Like a pretzel. I vaguely remembered this.

"You know I have to ask..." I started.

"For crossrolls," Dmytri answered.

He'd taught me crossrolls before, but I hadn't practiced them. And boy did it show.

"Outside edge. Don't push with your toe. Put your weight on your front leg. Keep your back leg extended." Every time I tried to adjust one mistake, I made 10 others. Dmytri kept up the chatter, but I started to sense some tension in his voice.

And then he groaned.

I'm used to his eye-rolling and exasperated sighs, but groaning? Uh-oh...

We were able to work out two big issues: 1) I was botching the extension because I thought he wanted me to extend my back leg like a crossover. He really wanted me to swing it around after I pushed so it was positioned as if I were stroking. 2) He had been skating in front of me, which made me hesitant because I thought I would run into him. He skated behind me and suddenly...

"That's much better. Your right push is good, your left needs work." He sounded as relieved as I was.

At the end of my lesson Dmytri said with mock-seriousness, "Now, when you practice your hockey stops, I want you to do them toward the boards."

"So I can face-plant, break my nose and lose my teeth?" I asked.

"Yes. I want pictures," he deadpanned.

But maybe he wasn't kidding. Later as I was taking off my skates I heard Dmytri call out, "Michelle! This is what happens when my skaters don't listen to me." He was signing the cast another skater had on her broken arm.

I hoped my skating lessons would look like this...

Instead, they will look like this...

Dude, this ain't soccer

2011-06-15T15:00:00.000-04:00

A dad once told me that his son took hockey lessons because he liked learning to skate and stickhandle, but he really didn't get that there's a game involved. My Kid is the opposite. He is very aware that there's a game involved and he wants to be on a hockey team. Now. In his mind, hockey should be like t-ball or soccer, join a team and learn through playing the sport. He doesn't quite understand the concept of developing a "specialized skill set."

When he asked if he could sign up with the Montgomery Youth Hockey Association, it seemed like a good idea. I enrolled him in the summer instructional program. But before he started with MYHA, he failed his Hockey 3 test. His coach said his stickhandling and shooting are great, but his skating needs a lot of work. Suddenly I was afraid I'd gotten him in over his head and even he seemed a little bit worried about joining the new program.

Until we got to the Rockville Ice Arena...

"Mum-mum! Let's go! Let's get inside!" he exclaimed.

"Can I at least park the car?" I asked.

He spent the next hour having the most intense hockey experience he's ever had. And his skating was just fine. He was able to complete all of the drills. His backward skating was on par with the others. (Why couldn't he have done that on Sunday when he was tested on it?) His crossovers were good, his edges surprised me. His hockey stops sucked.

My favorite part was the discipline. The Kid once got up and skated around a bit while the coaches were talking. The response?

"Kid! Take a knee!"

And when he tried to avoid the stopping drills by sneaking to the back of the line, the coach called him on it.

This is exactly what my son needs. He responds well to structure. Hold him accountable and he'll likely step up his game. Have high expectations and he'll often meet them.

He was exhausted when it was over, but as he dried off his skate blades he asked, "Can we come back tomorrow?"

His goal is to be on a house team this fall. I'm not sure he'll be ready, but we've got a plan for the summer to help him get there.

Epic Fail

2011-06-12T19:13:00.044-04:00

"I didn't pass!" the little figure skater wailed. She left the ice sobbing. All of us sitting in the bleachers let out sympathetic "Aaaaws..." as her mother went to talk to Coach Needs-More-Vodka about what happened. An hour later, there were more tears.

I was sitting next to the Kid while he took off his hockey equipment when his figure skating friend Z came out into the hallway with bloodshot eyes. She sat next to me and started sobbing. Coach Needs-More-Vodka hadn't passed her either. Kid sat on my lap and Z lay her head against Kid. As he stroked her hair he said sweetly, "Don't worry. It's okay. I didn't pass either. It's hard."

Yes, skating is hard. But it's fun to learn. And besides, all of us who spend the summer in ice rinks laugh at the rest of you all suffering in the hot, sticky weather. Yep, it's true. So come get in on the dirty little secret of summer skating.

Cabin John Ice Rink and Wheaton Ice Arena

Registration for June classes begins June 14th for MoCo residents and June 15th for everyone. Register online or call 301-670-6858. You also can register in person at the rinks.

Kettler Capitals Iceplex

It looks like some of the hockey programs are full, but there are camps and learn-to-skate options available.

Rockville Ice Arena

The summer Hockey Initiation Program and learn-to-skate classes begin July 9th. There also are a couple hockey camps that look interesting.

The Kid and I have skating plans for the summer, which will undoubtedly play out here. Hopefully, we'll see you on the ice. (Pssst...if you get Coach Needs-More-Vodka, don't be scared, I can tell you he passed at least one person today.)

I'm sure there are a bunch of other programs I'm missing, so if you know of anything, let me know and I can add it in.

Handle With Care

2011-06-09T16:59:00.000-04:00

Dmytri once pointed out that his early career had been government subsidized. Then he stretched out his arms as if to embrace the entire rink and said, "This is yours, you pay for it."

With those words, he empowered me with a strong sense of ownership over my skating. Yet I hear a surprising number of adult skaters say things that suggest they don't feel that way. That somehow the skater/coach relationship is so fragile, they have to handle it with extreme care. Let's debunk three myths I've encountered the most.

Myth: Skaters don't have a say in what they're learning.

I've heard many people say they want to work on certain skills, but they're reluctant to tell their coach because, "she's not open to hearing my suggestions." You're the skater, they're your lessons, you should have input into what you're learning. I ask to work on specific skills or learn new things all the time. My skating experience is better simply because I'm bought into what I'm learning.

Myth: Skaters have to be careful about asking questions.

Maybe. I ask a lot of questions and one time Dmytri did say, "I can't tell if you ask questions because you really want to know or because you don't trust me." I assured him that I really want to know. And it's because I trust him that I ask him a lot of questions. Why am I learning this? Why did you teach it this way if now I have to do it that way? Can you look at my skates? Because I ask questions, I get tremendous value from my lessons.

Myth: Coaches want to dump your ass.

I've met some adult skaters who give their coaches a lot of power in the skater/coach relationship, mostly because they're worried their coach will stop working with them. They don't complain if a coach is late for a lesson or repeatedly double-books or regularly takes phone calls during lessons. "She's got a lot of skaters, I don't want her to drop me," is a common reason. The skaters I know who seem most satisfied with their skater/coach relationship tend to view it as a partnership. If the expectations of either partner aren't being met, they talk about it, candidly and respectfully. These also are the folks who have been with their coaches the longest.

I like this quote from over at Xanboni: (You can read her entire post here.)

If you want to learn jumps and all your coach is teaching you is Moves, you need to say something. If you don't want to test and the coach keeps teaching you the test, say something. If you DO want to test, you're observing other people passing tests, and your coach is doing nothing, for goodness sake, SAY something.

If you're an adult skater who's struggling to "say something," I hope you'll at least give it a shot. Most likely you'll find your relationship with your coach is stronger than you thought and your skating experience can be even better than you imagined.

Don't Judge a Coach by its Skates

2011-06-05T19:59:00.002-04:00

When I'm wrong, I admit it. Today, I was wrong.

The Kid's hockey coach wasn't there today. There were three coaches on the ice: the Russian figure skater who we all think could benefit from more vodka, the guy who coaches both hockey and figure skating, and a very nice woman who is a member of a local synchro team. When we (the parents) found out Synchro Skater was teaching the hockey class we all groaned.

Turns out...she was really great! She immediately stopped skating like a figure skater and started skating like a hockey player. (Her backward crossovers were hockey crossovers, not figure skating crossovers.) She ran effective stopping drills, taught proper edges and was incredibly patient with the energetic young boys. She even got in net during the end-of-session scrimmage.

I still believe that in all cases possible hockey coaches should coach hockey and figure skating coaches should coach figure skating. But this woman gets a huge stick tap from me for seamlessly and good-naturedly switching from figure skating to hockey. Nicely done!

Tot Skating

2011-06-03T15:20:00.001-04:00

This is the skating lesson where I thought about beating up a pre-schooler and where I decided sometimes it's best to ignore my coach.

We were skating along at the beginning of my lesson when suddenly this adorable girl zooms by stroking her little heart out. She was the tiniest skater I've ever seen and she was amazing! I see a lot of really good young skaters, but this girl was unbelievable. Her skating was flawless. Jealously, I thought of knocking her over.

"Dmytri look at her go! She's soooo good! Can you believe that?!" I gasped.

"Good Russian coaching. She's doing what she's supposed to," he said matter-of-factly.

"But she's so tiny! Have you ever seen that before?! How old do you think she is - three, maybe four?"

"She just turned four," he said. He wasn't guessing.

"Do you know her?"

"She's my skater." Uh-oh. That thought about knocking her over...did I say that out loud? I'm pretty sure Dmytri doesn't want me beating up his ultra-talented tots. Later we saw her sitting on the ice. I dissolved into giggles as she looked up at us and gleefully chattered.

"I'm sliding on my butt," Dmytri translated.

Then Dmytri tried to kill me. To help me practice my 3-turns,* he suggested I use the hockey boards. He demonstrated by skating away from the boards, making the turn, then coasting backward to the boards, showing how I could reach out and grab on if I started to fall.

I tried it and Dmytri busted out laughing. "You just couldn't wait to grab those boards!" he teased, imitating me flailing around.

"Shut up!" I whined.

He demonstrated again, but this time, for emphasis, he went backward into the boards pretty hard. Now it was my turn to laugh. "You really think this is a good idea?" And I think at that point we both realized that yes, this is a good idea, just not for me.

"You can write on your Web site how your coach told you to fall into the boards," he laughed. He said it, not me.

Dmytri headed off barking orders in Russian to the amazing little girl. (I think he's intimidating when he speaks Russian, the amazing little girl seemed to find him amusing.) At the end of her lesson, Dmytri jokingly propelled her toward me as if to make us collide. She and I both giggled. Tot skating at its finest.

*The Dmitri in the 3-turn video is NOT the Dmytri I skate with.

Hockey Sh*t

2011-05-23T20:23:00.000-04:00

Dressing a mite hockey player is serious business. Oh, it starts out easy enough. The course catalog says all they need are skates, a helmet and knee pads. Then they get up a couple of levels and suddenly they need "full equipment." Which brings to mind three questions: 1) What the hell does that mean? 2) Where do I get hockey equipment? 3) How much is this going to cost?

1) What does that mean?

Everything listed below gets stuffed in a bag that ends up weighing more than the mite hockey player, so you might consider getting a bag on wheels.

A helmet
Shoulder pads, elbow pads and a jersey to cover them up
"Hockey underwear" (Even little guys need to protect the family jewels.)*
Hockey pants
Shin guards and hockey socks to cover them
Hockey tape to hold the socks up and to tape the blade and handle of the...
...Hockey stick
Skates
A towel to wipe off skate blades
A second towel to wipe off sweaty faces*
Hockey gloves
A water bottle*
Soakers and hard guards (This article from St. Lidwina explains it so I don't have to.)

2) Where do I get all of this stuff?

There are lots of options, especially for the little ones who don't need anything fancy and haven't discovered the concept of brand loyalty. For skates, it's probably best to go to a pro shop, especially the first time you buy them so you can be sure they fit properly. Folks in the pro shop also can help you with properly measuring a stick. Everything else you can get at pretty much any sports store (Sports Authority, Dick's Sporting Goods) and there are stores like Play It Again Sports where you can find used equipment. Web sites like Hockey Monkey and Great Skate are helpful too and in many cases you can sign up to get notifications about sales and promotions. Perhaps most importantly, don't forget other hockey players! Kids, especially the very young ones, sometimes grow out of this equipment before it gets too banged up. Talk to the other hockey parents at the rink, they may be able to hook you up.

3) How much does all of this cost?

I think I've spent about $250 for everything listed above. I've gotten deals on some of it and probably paid too much for some of it. (Rookie hockey mom.) Considering that I overheard ice dancer parents talking about how they'd just spent a thousand dollars for figure skates, this isn't so bad. (One thousand dollars. Just for skates.) Mite hockey players grow fast, so while the initial investment isn't outrageous, having to replace all of this stuff every 45 minutes can put the hurt to the bank account. (See: Play It Again Sports)

So there you have it. A snapshot of how to dress a miniature hockey player. If you know of any other cool resources, please share! Rookie hockey parents like me can use all the help we can get.

*Not pictured

(Lack of) Nutrition at the Rink

2011-05-18T11:03:00.000-04:00

I was sitting at a table at the Wheaton Ice Arena happily taking a snack break when a rink staffer leaned over and whispered in my ear, "You're not allowed to have outside food here. There's a big sign."

"I've been bringing my own food for years!" I exclaimed. But he's right, there's a big old sign at the front door that I've never noticed. Wheaton is an ice rink, not a restaurant, and they're serving exactly the kind of food people expect from a snack bar. Thing is, if I eat that food my weight and my blood pressure are certain to sky rocket, no matter how many calories I burn on the ice. I pack my own food so I can control portion size and nutritional content.

In Montgomery County, the land of trans fat bans and menu labeling, you'd think I'd be encouraged to make healthful food choices. Here's an excellent opportunity to allow local athletes to model healthy behavior. Imagine young kids coming to the rink for the first time and seeing those super-cool figure skaters munching on apples and carrots and string cheese. Might they pick up on those good habits? We'll never know because at Wheaton you're only supposed to see people eating pizza and chips...maybe a cereal bar. Healthy eaters can use the picnic table outside to fulfill their habit.

So, here are my questions:

1) Why can't I bring my own food? Be honest. Do snack bar concessions really generate that much revenue? Are they afraid folks might smuggle in cocktails? It's not like they're gaining a customer by telling me I can't bring my own food. I eat at the snack bar sometimes, I really do. But I can't eat that kind of food regularly. And I'm there very regularly.

2) Is this policy good for skaters? There are kids that spend hours a day at the rink - on the ice, in the dance studio, in the gym. I can't imagine forcing them to eat snack bar concessions is a healthful choice for growing athletes. Are parents and coaches really okay with this?

3) Why does this regulation only apply to Wheaton? It seems to me this same rule should apply to Cabin John as well, since they're both run by the county. However, I haven't noticed a sign there. (Maybe it's there and I'm just missing it.)

I see countless people at the rink bringing their own insulated bags full of healthy snacks and beverages. Either they haven't seen the sign or they're choosing to ignore it. If healthier options aren't available at the snack bar, what's a skater to do?

Channeling Herb Brooks

2011-05-15T15:00:00.003-04:00

The Kid loves going to stick-and-puck and I love having one more thing in my arsenal to threaten him with. Before his last hockey lesson I "reminded" him that if he wanted to go to stick-and-puck he needed to listen carefully to his coach and follow direction. Things that annoy the bejeezus out of mite hockey players, but coaches and parents think they're kind of important.

The parents settled in on the bleachers to watch the kids and talk about how cranky the Russian figure skating coach looked as he tried to coax backward swizzles out of his class. And the kids got their first introduction to suicides. Popularized by the late Herb Brooks, this is a particularly effective form of cardiovascular torture. Watching hockey players do them makes me want to puke. I hope doing them makes the Kid want to sleep. They skated from the goal line to cones that were lined up a little bit before the blue line. Their hockey stops need some work, especially the Kid, who tends to do t-stops. (Remnants from his ice dancing days.) They went back and forth once, but below is what they'll work up to.

Of note, the Kid will be allowed to go to stick-and-puck.

Bound for Sochi

2011-05-13T14:43:00.001-04:00

Exciting news in figure skating this week, Dmytri and his colleagues have been nominated for the 2011 U.S. Figure Skating/PSA Developmental Coach of the Year Award. I think this is very cool and someday, when he's a superstar figure skating coach a la Frank Carroll, I'll be able to say, "I know him! He taught me edges!"

This nomination, however, may or may not be causing Dmytri to have delusions of grandeur. As he skated up to me at the beginning of my lesson he said, "The Caps are done, so now we make you the best."

"The best?"

"Yes," he continued. "For the Olympics. Sochi."

My Olympic training began with backward unpronounceables and Dmytri kicking my skate.

"Why are you kicking me?" I asked.

"Because this skate needs to be in front not to the side." Fair enough, I tried harder to keep it in front.

"I need you to keep this skate on the ice longer," he demanded.

"You sounded very coach-ey when you said that."

"Coach-ey," he repeated, processing my made-up word.

Next up, progressives. Dmytri explained that forward progressives are really just crossovers. Apparently everyone calls them crossovers except dancers, so there's your figure skating semantics lesson for the day. Backward, however, is an entirely different animal. He had me do basically a half-swizzle so that I was pushing off from my left leg to my right, pushing with an inside edge. Once my left foot returned to the ice, I had to push off with my right skate using an outside edge. All going around the face-off circle. Backward. Clear as mud, yes? This was fun and I hope I get to work on this regularly.

"You learned two new things today," Dmytri pointed out at the end of my lesson.

"You're taking this Coach of the Year nomination very seriously aren't you?"

"Well, I can't be known as the guy who couldn't teach you backward progressives," he joked.

So, to protect Dmytri's reputation and continue my march toward Sochi, I got back on the ice and practiced everything I learned. Coach of the Year indeed.

Love Me Back

2011-05-05T20:39:00.027-04:00

That picture is of the Washington Capitals players bench. I took it from the ice at the Verizon Center. It's very tall. When I sat on it, my feet didn't touch the floor even though I was wearing skates. That bench is empty and will remain that way until October. (Technically September, if you count the preseason.) I'm hurt and angry and frustrated that year after year the Caps let me down. I'm a fan and I'm also a season ticket holder. I give this team my time, my money, and most importantly, my heart. Maybe it's selfish, but I'd like playoff success in return.

Oh don't worry, I'm pissed but I'm loyal. It's my team for better or (repeated) worse. In a few days I'll be whining that I miss them. But next spring, instead of drowning my sorrows in pinot, I want to toast my team with champagne. Win Lord Stanley's Cup. That's how the Caps can show me they love me back.

Not Safe for Work

2011-05-03T12:59:00.018-04:00

I never thought I would write a post that could be considered 'not safe for work' and yet, I must tell the story of what I saw during Sunday night's Caps game. I will try to do this tastefully, but really, there was nothing tasteful about what happened.

Not long into the game my friend D told me I just had to check out the girls sitting behind me. I discreetly glanced back and...oh my God are you kidding me?! Two girls decked out in very tight, very trashy red dresses. But it gets worse...

Red Dress Girl taps me on the shoulder and hands me her camera. "Can you take our picture?" she asked, then she snuggled up next to her friend, pulling her skirt up higher on her leg. Yes, of course, because during a powerplay is exactly when I want to take a picture of two girls, all boobs and thighs and bad sex-kitten facial expressions. I took the picture then gave her back her camera as she drunkenly purred, "Thank you sweetie, I love you."

And I immediately reached for the hand sanitizer I keep in my purse, you know, for those times I need to shoot porn during a hockey game.

When my friend J and I returned to our seats at the end of intermission (thank God J was with me and not the Kid), my friend who sits in front of me said, "Oh you missed it! The red dress girls aren't wearing underwear! When they walked up the steps you could see everything."

The Red Dress Girls returned and stood behind us talking. Yes, stood up during the game talking. Usually people who do this find themselves doused in beer. But apparently the rules are different for leggy blondes in tight red dresses and no underwear. Poor J literally couldn't turn her head without getting an eyeful of lady bits.

They ended up leaving (while the puck was in play) and the domino effect their exit had was hilarious. The reaction of basically everyone sitting in sections 114 and 115 was the same...look at Red Dress Girls, see lady bits up close and personal, look away, die laughing.

Tonight the Caps are on the road, so I'll be able to watch the game from the comfort of my couch knowing that I won't have the misfortune of seeing a stranger's T-and-A. I think I'll update my resume: pornography photographer.

Hindsight is 20/20

2011-04-30T17:31:00.012-04:00

"Mum-mum, I don't want eye surgery," the Kid said with a worried look. We were at the Verizon Center watching the Washington Capitals take on the Tampa Bay Lightning, so I wasn't sure why he was suddenly concerned about eye surgery.

"Well you're in luck," I said. "You don't need eye surgery."

"But if the Caps score, I have to get eye surgery."

I don't pay much attention to in-game promotions at Caps games, but apparently the Kid does. The Eye Doctors of Washington (or something similar, I don't pay attention) have a promotion where a "lucky fan" wins free laser eye surgery if the Caps score in the last two minutes of the second period. And all fans get $1,500 off surgery. Or something similar, I don't pay attention. All this time the Kid thought if the Caps scored during that time he'd have to get laser eye surgery. He's been terrified at every game!

I tried to reassure the little guy that he would not have to get eye surgery. I'm still not sure he believes me. We left the game bummed about the loss, but the Kid's eyes were unscathed.

Introduction to Pairs Skating

2011-04-29T13:04:00.024-04:00

We were skating along nicely, having a pleasant conversation when Dmytri suddenly said, "Now do it backwards."

"Backwards?!"

"I'm pretty sure pairs skaters skate backwards," he deadpanned.

You see, when I set up my most recent skating lesson I told Dmytri I wanted to learn how to do everything in the short program Tatiana Volosozhar and Maxim Tankov did at Worlds. (video below) I told him I was kind of serious about this. To Dmytri's credit, he scheduled a lesson with me anyway. (Brave Ukrainian soul.)

And it was at this lesson that I had my introduction to "power pulls." (I couldn't find good video. Think slaloms, but on one foot.) With Dmytri's help, I gave it a shot. I really need to learn these things. Why? Because they hurt. As in...if I learn to do them, my gluteus maximus could become a lot more minimus.

We did some work on crossovers and I asked him why, when I first started learning them, I had to pick up my foot and step over, but now I'm supposed to keep both skates on the ice more and focus on the back push.

"It's eggs and chickens," he said matter-of-factly.

Of course it is.

He went on to explain that initially skaters are focusing on the concept of a crossover (hence, stepping over) and once they get that, they can move on to proper edges and pushes. You know, for strength and speed and the like. "Are you going to change them up on me again?" I asked, fearing another step in the crossover process.

"No, this is it," he assured me. Excellent. He ended my lesson by having me do a fun little crossover/unpronounceable combo. I like when he puts a couple of pieces together for me, breaks up the monotony.

Anyway...sit back and take a look at what you'll see me doing any day now...

Hiatus

2011-04-22T15:33:00.007-04:00

We took a little break from skating to get in touch with the founding of our nation. Since I'm posting this from a stick-and-puck session at the Wheaton Ice Arena, I guess we're officially back.

His Life Without Me

2011-04-17T20:44:00.002-04:00

WARNING: ridiculously obnoxious bragging and some tears forthcoming.

The Washington Capitals fell to the New York Rangers in game three this afternoon. Grrrr... I think I'll distract myself by recounting something positive that happened on the ice today.

Today the Kid went to his first stick-and-puck session, and I was worried about it. For most of the session, the Kid was the smallest one out there, but his skating and stickhandling were good enough that he could keep up. He was confident, talking to older boys and passing pucks with big men. And the older boys and big men were careful and patient with the younger players. They were all just a bunch of guys playing hockey. Things like age and size didn't matter. What they all had in common was love for the game.

And for the first time ever, my son has a world I can't be a part of. Oh sure, I drive him to the rink, make sure his skates are sharpened and his sticks are taped. But the hockey ice is his. A thick piece of plexiglass keeps me from hearing the joke that made him and a grown man laugh simultaneously or knowing what happened that made the high school student give him a fist pump. This is ice time I can watch, but I can't experience. It's his world, not mine. I got a little choked up.

With about 10 minutes left in the session the Kid got off the ice for water.

"Are you tired kiddo?" I asked. "Wanna head home?"

"No, Mum-mum!" he gasped, appalled at my suggestion. He quickly got back on the ice as if he were scared I'd make him leave. As I predicted, he was the last one off the ice.

The last time the Kid and I went skating together he said to me, "Mum-mum, I had fun skating with you today." I'm going to hold that close, because I'm pretty sure my days skating with the Kid at public sessions are officially over.

Actually Ice Skating

2011-04-15T02:22:00.001-04:00

Sometimes my skating coach will say things that stun me into silence. Like the time he critiqued my skating, leaving me speechless...until I busted out laughing. Today, he did it again.

We were skating around a face-off circle. On one foot. There may have been edges involved. (Who am I kidding? Of course edges were involved, we're talking about Dmytri here.) I felt like I was going kind of fast and I said, "Hey, I feel like I'm going kind of fast."

"It's because you're actually ice skating," Dmytri said.

Um...

I've been taking ice skating lessons from this guy for a year and half and today I was "actually ice skating?" What have I been doing up until now? I thought about asking him, but then decided I don't really want to know.

I just skated away speechless...until I busted out laughing.

Aaaand...I Made Him Cry

2011-04-11T19:16:00.017-04:00

The ribbon for passing Hockey Two is seafoam green. This is appropriate since, after having one amazing lesson with Coach K, the kids ended up with a hockey coach who was a very talented...figure skater. I hadn't talked to the Kid about his hockey plans after this round of lessons. He had options -- take lessons again at Wheaton or take some time off and try out Rockville's program after his t-ball season was over. I didn't realize we'd make this decision under pressure.

The Kid stood in the lobby armed with his seafoam ribbon and a coupon for 25% off at the pro shop. Excellent! Kid needs new shoulder pads. We picked out shoulder pads and handed the coupon to the girl behind the counter. "I'll need to see your registration form," she said cheerfully.

Shit! I hadn't read the not-so-fine print. There, in big old letters, it explained that you got the discount if you registered for lessons. We hadn't registered, nor had I planned to until the Kid and I could discuss his options.

"Oh! Sorry kiddo," I said to him. "We haven't registered yet."

He burst into tears. The Kid used to be a prolific whiner, but crying is reserved for true disappointment or paralyzing fatigue. Not even painful stimuli make him cry. And yet here he was falling into my arms sobbing.

We left the pro shop and sitting on the bench I asked him why he was so sad. I expected him to say he wanted the shoulder pads, instead he said he was sad I hadn't signed him up for hockey lessons. "I thought you might want to take a little break and skate at Rockville after t-ball is over," I explained.

He looked up at me with mournful eyes and said, "I just want to play hockey and do stick-and-puck."

We signed up for lessons at the front desk, then returned to the pro shop to get the shoulder pads.

"Mum-mum, you should get these for your skates!" he said, pointing to some rockin' glittery blue hard guards.

Bye-bye tears, hello toys! We both left happy.

Ice Dancing with Ovi

2011-04-03T09:05:00.015-04:00

Alex Ovechkin will indeed make an Olympic appearance in Sochi in 2014. As an ice dancer. He's looking for a partner and prefers skating to Beat Dat Beat Up. The Kid and I saw the following performance live. We anticipate great things for Ovi's ice dancing career.

Drop the Puck

2011-03-29T18:55:00.018-04:00

For months now the Kid has been imploring me to let him go to a stick-and-puck session. I've always said, "no." I told him he needed to be a little bigger, a little older and a little better at skating. Turns out, I'm wrong. Today I got an e-mail saying the Kid is eligible for stick-and-puck. Which means I'm eligible for high blood pressure.

He can't wait, I'm nervous. I can't be on the ice with him to make sure he follows the rules, takes turns and adheres to whatever stick-and-puck etiquette may exist. And I can't protect him from the other big, bad hockey players. I'll be sitting on the cold, metal bleachers all alone. Maybe I'll be able to get a little reading done, catch up on e-mail, hit the gym, give some play-by-play on Twitter...

Who am I kidding? I'll be watching the Kid intently, looking for rules infractions and potential injuries. And at the end of the session, I'll be that crazy woman at the end of the ice yelling, "KID! The session is over, get off the ice!" Because as hockey coaches like to say...you can send players onto the ice, but you can't always get them off.

It's Not A Freakin' Axel

2011-03-25T19:47:00.015-04:00

Remember when the Kid and my coach assessed my 3-turns in the most public way possible? That was about a year ago, and I've forgiven them both, but sadly, my 3-turns haven't improved. Not one little bit. And it's gotten in my head. Dmytri says, "Let's do 3-turns" and I curl up in the fetal position on the ice. My brain doesn't understand them. My body definitely doesn't understand them. Dmytri has tried a million different ways to help me. I'm stuck.

I'm not trying to land a freakin' axel here. It's a 3-turn. A 3-turn!

So, if you see a woman lying in the fetal position on the ice...that's me and I'm practicing 3-turns.

Go Ahead...Laugh at Me

2011-03-23T11:02:00.001-04:00

A while back Dmytri and I talked about how I could best maximize my skating practice time. His recommendation to skate more often (the whole muscle memory thing) ended up being easier than I thought. But I still struggled with what to do when I was on the ice. I love structure -- planners, calendars, to-do lists. So I made my own practice "notebook." At the risk of being laughed at, I'll share with you my DIY approach.

My "notebook" is actually a file that I keep on my iPod. I've included videos from My Skate Coach and Sk8Strong. I've created 30 minute practice agendas, organized by themes. Each practice agenda ends with something I call "high fives" - a skill that I find particularly challenging that I have to try five times. For each practice, I complete one agenda. If I'm having a good skate, I stick around and do more. If I'm having a bad day, I can leave knowing that at least I did something. I also included a page that is a reminder of why it is that I'm learning to skate. (Oh dear God, I sound like such an uptight nerd!!)

I started by making a list of all the things I'd ever been taught. There were several things that Dmytri had taught me that I had completely forgotten, so I spent one lesson making him reteach me those skills. Once I had a comprehensive list, I created practice agendas. (Remember, I'm a very beginning skater here...)

Stroking -- Forward and backward, including Dmytri's recommendation that I do things like focus on extension then focus on strong pushes.
Crossovers -- Includes pumping and knee-bending exercises I always have to do during my lessons, multiple laps around the circle focusing on things like edges and alignment, everything forward and backward and in both directions.
Edges -- Includes the "short" exercises I have to do on the goal line as well as the "long" exercises I have to do up and down the length of the ice. Will eventually add backward edges as well.
Busy Rink -- A hodge-podge of things I can do in small spaces when there are a lot of people around.
Bending Knees -- A list of things I've done during my lessons when Dmytri has said, "This is to help you bend your knees."
Work Out -- This is what I do if I've skipped the gym in the morning, includes lots of stroking and pumping with the intention of doing it as fast and strong as I can to get both a muscle-building and cardio work out.
Turns -- Includes those godawful 3-turns and a bunch of exercises Dmytri has me do for which I have no name. (Helpful, eh?)
Doing Time -- This is a list of miscellaneous things to do on days I really don't feel like skating, but know I have to. Quick laps of stroking and crossovers, some edges, nothing terribly challenging.

I ended up having to rework these lists. They all took more than 30 minutes and the Busy Rink one was completely unworkable. Now that I've ironed out the kinks, I really like it. It helps me use my time wisely (I think!) and there have been days when I probably would've skipped practice, but I'm motivated because all I have to do is bang out a list of skills. That's manageable...and sometimes, when I think I'm just going to put in 30 minutes and jet, I end up staying a lot longer.

So I guess this post does nothing except prove that I'm a big nerd. And maybe it shows that I know nothing about organizing effective skating practices. Go ahead...you may laugh at me.

There Are No Toepicks in Hockey

2011-03-20T20:18:00.023-04:00

The Kid had a substitute coach for hockey lessons today. This happens periodically, both with hockey and figure skating. Coaches have games or competitions that they need to be at, so someone else takes over for a lesson. No biggie. Except that hockey coaches really should sub for hockey coaches and figure skating coaches really should sub for figure skating coaches.

Today, the Kid and his teammates had a figure skater coaching their class. A very pretty girl in very white figure skates. She was an amazing skater and she tried so hard to keep the class together and working.

But she was a very pretty girl in very white figure skates.

And the hockey kids weren't buying it.

This Makes Me Happy

2011-03-18T19:27:00.000-04:00

Aaaaah...Peter Bondra...enjoy.

Hockey Double Standards

2011-03-16T12:22:00.002-04:00

I'm an awfully conflicted hockey fan these days. I love that the game is fast and physical. There have been many times I've seen a crushing hit at the Verizon Center and thought, "Oh! That was fuckin' awesome!" I didn't really think about injuries, except to the extent that they could impact my team's ability to staff up appropriately to win games. Now I have a son who's playing hockey. The first time he is the recipient of a crushing hit, it will not be "fuckin' awesome." Yep, out come the old double-standards.

The NHL has been giving heightened attention to head shots and the concussion rate among players. The league says it wants to do what it can to ensure the safety of the players while maintaining the integrity of the game. There's a commitment to more stringently enforcing penalties for boarding and charging. And there's a pledge to be follow stricter disciplinary measures, including longer suspensions. They've stopped short of banning head shots altogether. You can get more details here.

The hockey fan in me thinks this is a step in the right direction. The hockey mom side of me says, "why not ban head shots?" I'm conflicted. And apparently, Bruce Boudreau thinks I should get over it.

"If you don't like it, don't come to the games." That's what the Washington Capitals coach has to say about it. Really Coach? Guess I shouldn't have sent in that season ticket renewal form for next year so quickly.

Look, part of me shares Gabby's opinion. I just wish he hadn't been so cavalier about it. I want to see fun, fast-paced, physical hockey. I also want to see players safety protected as much as possible. I mean, what if that player was your kid?

Figure Hockey

2011-03-12T20:47:00.000-05:00

The Kid and I started our weekend by catching Friday night's match up between the Washington Capitals and the Carolina Hurricanes. I was particularly interested in this game because I wanted to see Jeff Skinner live. Jeff, currently a center for the Canes, used to be a competitive figure skater. In 2004, he earned a bronze at Canadian Junior Nationals. (Check out pictures from his figure skating days.)

I wanted to see if his skating was noticeably different from the other hockey players. I've read that it is, something about strong strides and quality edges. Would I be able to see it?

Nope, I didn't see it. I mean, he and Tuomo Ruutu landed beautiful side-by-side triple toe loops in the neutral zone during the second period, but other than that his skating looked...

...exactly like all the other hockey players.

Coaching Change

2011-03-11T10:11:00.011-05:00

The Kid's last hockey lesson was a big ol' fail on my part. He'd lost a strap on his hockey helmet, which of course had me freaked out. And he'd lost a screw in his helmet. (One of the young folks at the rink helped us replace it, which was awesome.) And we forget his stick. Yes, we forgot to bring his hockey stick to hockey practice. Aaaaand...as if that weren't enough, all this happened on the first day of lessons with a new coach. Yep, new coach now thinks I'm a scatterbrained flake who can't get her son's hockey life in order. Wonderful.

I think Coach K is going to be great. He doesn't treat the kids like little ones learning to play hockey, he treats them like hockey players. The kids really seemed to respond to this.

He started out by having them skate forward, throw themselves on their stomachs, slide across the ice, then hop back up and do it all again. This is tons of fun to a seven year old boy. Next he had them do a pretty complex drill where they were supposed to skate forward, do crossovers, stop, change direction, fall, etc. all based on how the coach was holding his hockey stick. The kids were amazing, following direction like pros.

He barked orders at them and would ask, "Do you understand?!"

When he barely got a response from the little ones, he yelled, "Do you understand?!"

And they all yelled back, "YES!!"

And he'd have them huddle up and put their hands in for a team cheer, "One, two, three...hockey two!!"

The kids really seemed to respond to this new, very interactive coaching style. By the end they were yelling responses with confidence and they were intent on following Coach K's direction. No one scampered off to play around in their own little world, it was quite impressive that Coach K never lost their attention. The coach and the kids worked hard, but were clearly having a blast too.

The Kid got off the ice with glowing red cheeks and sweat dripping down his little face. As he dried off his skate blades he excitedly recounted every detail of the 45 minute lesson. I anticipate good things coming from this round of hockey lessons.

Butts Matter: Lysacek v. Agosto

2011-03-07T16:36:00.001-05:00

I'm going to say right up front that I saw Smucker's Stars on Ice and I liked it. Liking it, however, will not prevent me from being snarky about it. (I get a little serious at the end.) Here are some topline thoughts:

Sitting close is scary. We were sitting two rows back from the ice. Seriously, one jump doesn't go as planned and I could end up with a figure skater in my lap, which is exactly what I thought when Todd Eldredge bobbled on a jump in front of us.

The judges aren't fair. DCGiant was immediately ready to send Todd to "the minors" for his wobbly performance, but when Sasha Cohen fell, she got a pass because she was in Blades of Glory. And when Ekaterina Gordeeva crashed, it was okay because she's "a babe."

Speaking of Ms. Gordeeva...why did they downplay her work with Valerie Bure? I mean really, isn't that why people know her?

People are paying attention to the wrong male skater. When Evan Lysacek took the ice a girl behind us yelled, "I love you Evan!" She picked the wrong guy. Ben Agosto was awesome to watch and seemed to be really having fun. Agosto also has a better ass than Lysacek. Trust me, I saw their asses up close. I could have touched their asses. Ben has a fine ass. (Have I been clear on that point?)

I loved, loved, loved Kyoko Ina and John Zimmerman! They were fast and strong and together. It was so cool watching them and DCGiant and I are pretty sure they did the Pamchenko.

Speaking of Kyoko Ina...she was wearing my figure skating dress! Cute little black number, meets the minimum sequins requirement. I will steal it from her.

In all seriousness, it was amazing seeing people skate like that up close. Here's a surprise, figure skating isn't graceful. It's brute force and inconceivable amounts of strength disguised as gracefulness. The muscle power these people were using was unbelievable. I left with a whole new level of respect for figure skaters.

We listened to the Caps game on the drive home.

Not Settling for Good Enough

2011-03-05T20:08:00.002-05:00

Back when I was taking group skating lessons an instructor told me that what I was doing was "good enough for a casual skater." This instructor meant this to be positive feedback, but I felt otherwise. One of things I really like about Dmytri is that he never settles for "good enough." Whether he's working with super-talented ice dancer kids or a beginning adult skater like me, there's a proper way to do things and that's what he's teaching.

Which is why I spent most of my last skating lesson working on crossovers, something I learned at least a year ago. We did them forward and backward, focusing on edges and alignment. First I had to do a pumping exercise, keeping my left foot on the ice and propelling myself around the face-off circle by making half circles with my right foot.

"This needs to be more of an outside edge," Dmytri said, kicking my left skate.

Next he had me skate on my left foot, then put my right foot back on the ice, lift my left foot and skate on my right foot, then repeat all around the circle. (There's a name for this, but I don't know what it is.) I think the purpose of this is to get me to bend my knees properly. Finally, it was time to actually crossover and time for Dmytri's constant chatter.

"Your inside hip needs to be back, your outside hip forward."

"Turn in toward the circle more."

"Your back leg is still going straight back too much, push more to the side."

"Skate longer on your front leg. Keep your back leg toward the side."

And then we repeated all of this going the other way.

"Not bad," Dmytri said as I was crossing my left leg over my right. "Usually this is people's weak side, but you're doing okay." Hellz yeah, baby!

And then we did all of this backward, making the same adjustments. By the time we got to doing right-over-left backward, I was tired of going in circles and it was pretty obvious by the way my skates we're scratching the ice.

Does it really matter if I pay attention to these details? Probably not. When I'm coasting around at a public skate session no one is going to know whether or not I'm using proper edges or my hips are appropriately aligned. But I know, and Dmytri knows, and I'm fairly certain we'll never settle for good enough.

*******

Following are videos of forward and backward crossovers. (The Dmitri in these videos is NOT the Dmytri I take lessons from.)

Bar Food Today, Signing Bonus Tomorrow

2011-03-04T13:54:00.000-05:00

There are lots of new hockey players at the Verizon Center these days, but with all due respect to Jason Arnott, Dennis Wideman and Marco Sturm, the player who I've been watching most is the Kid. The Kid and his teammates got to play hockey during intermission at a recent Washington Capitals game as part of the Mites on Ice program. (Big shout out to the folks at the Wheaton Ice Arena for organizing the fun. No small task herding these hockey-loving cats!)

The Kid was super-excited. I was worried he'd get scared -- the big arena, the big crowd, the loud noise. I suppose I should have relaxed when, right before heading to the locker-room with his coaches, he said excitedly, "I'm going to play great tonight!" He gave me a hug followed by a fist pump. (I'm fairly certain the fist pump was an attempt to maintain his hockey-tough reputation after the mushy hug I forced him into.)

At the start of the first intermission, the Kid hopped out on the ice like he's played there a million times. In an apparent nod to David Steckel, he lined up for the opening face-off. All the kids played great! Pretty soon the horn blew, signaling the end of the game, and they started to file off the ice...except mine.

The Kid was intercepted by the "ref" who took off his helmet and helped him onto the visitors bench. He had been chosen "Mite of the Nite" and settled in for his post-game interview. I couldn't really hear the questions or his answers, but it was so cool seeing him up on the big scoreboard screen. He ended the interview hamming it up for the camera and getting laughs from the crowd.

As part of the fun, he got a gift card to Glory Days. Glory Days is a loooong drive for bar food, but we'll make it. Today he gets bar food, tomorrow a signing bonus.

End of an Era

2011-02-25T11:09:00.000-05:00

I didn't start following professional sports until I discovered the Washington Capitals in 1997. I had my first taste of trade bitterness in 2001 when the Caps sent Richard Zednik and Jan Bulis to Montreal for Trevor Linden and Dainius Zubrus. Now that I'm a hardened hockey fan, I can look back on this with more objectivity, but at the time, I was crushed.

Yesterday, my little figure skating heart was broken. Caydee Denney and Jeremy Barrett have ended their partnership. NOOOOOOO!! They were my first favorite figure skaters. They were the ones who made me decide I liked pairs skating the best. (I'm currently looking for a guy who can pick me up and fling me across the ice.) In the infancy of my figure skating fandom, they made an impression. And now...and now... *cries bitter tears*

Let us remember happier days, shall we?

A House Divided

2011-02-21T16:28:00.001-05:00

If I have to choose a favorite between the Washington Capital's goaltenders, I'm going with Michal Neuvirth. So imagine my surprise when the I learned the Kid is a hardcore fan of Semyon Varlamov.

The Kid got some money from his grandmother for his birthday. We scampered out to Kettler Capitals Iceplex to do a little skating and check out the Caps store. In the store, the Kid went straight to a display of miniature hockey sticks and picked out a Varly stick. Then he headed to the back of the store where he chose a red Varly t-shirt. That's all he wanted.

I'm still Team Neuvy...until it's time to become Team Kid.

Skate Blade Debacle

2011-02-20T18:26:00.000-05:00

"Your blades are shot and since you can't replace them on these skates, you'll have to get all new skates." This was the advice I was given, I decided to get a second opinion.

A few days later, I found myself sitting on the hockey bench with my feet on Dmytri's lap. He peered thoughtfully at my blades, squeezed my ankles and then proclaimed, "You need new blades, your boots are fine."

"The other guy told me I couldn't put new blades on these because the screws will fall out," I said.

"Well I can glue them in for you if you want," he replied, but the tone of his voice and the way he rolled his eyes, said that wouldn't be necessary.

He explained how skates are made and maintained, which I thought was so cool. After all, I'm the one who got excited when Dmytri got new skates. He said my blades were "flat." And sure enough, when we took off our skates and stood them side-by-side on the wooden bench, mine looked flat. He focused on how the heel of his rose up while mine rested on the bench. What I noticed was how high up his toepick was. Mine was practically digging into the wood. No wonder I was tripping all the freakin' time. And my concern about screws falling out? He assured me it would be fine, pointing out that I have a gazillion screws holding my blades in place. He has four. Yep, just four. I was a little apprehensive when he took a screw out of my skate then put it back in, but he made his point, the screw stayed put.

Researching skates blades was terribly fun. (You all already know I'm a big nerd.) There are so many different kinds of skate blades. I'm not talking figure skating v. hockey v. speedskating. I mean there are a million different kinds of figure skate blades with all kinds of bells and whistles. I liked these because they look like they have a small toepick. The girly-girl in me liked these fancy ones. Oh look! Purple skate blades! But I'm told some judges find them distracting, which may cause trouble when I'm testing. (What?! Stranger things have happened!) I settled on these simple beginner blades and surrendered my skates to Dmytri, who'd offered to take care of them for me.

I was both worried and excited when it was time to try them out. Would I stop tripping? Would I have trouble skating in them? Worse yet, what if I couldn't tell the difference? That would be all kinds of figure skating fail.

I could definitely tell the difference. I felt a little wobbly skating on one foot and failed miserably trying to do those edges exercises during my last lesson. But I'm not tripping anymore and my toepick doesn't drag when I do backward crossovers. The screws are remaining firmly in place.

All in all, I'm a happy little skater again.

Spring (Skating) Fever

2011-02-15T16:02:00.027-05:00

I know it's that time of year when people are thinking about spring, especially around here where we get random days of warm weather that make you want to open windows and wash the car. I'm sure the last thing you're thinking about is registering for the privilege of hanging out in a freezing cold ice rink, but it's time to sign up for ice skating lessons. (Hey, I'm just the messenger.)

Cabin John Ice Rink

Both hockey and learn-to-skate classes start March 2nd. Registration is February 19th - February 25th. MoCo residents can register February 18th. Class fees include six weeks of classes, a practice card for admission to public skate sessions and rental skates.

Kettler Capitals Iceplex

Learn-to-skate classes begin February 28th. After you click on this link, scroll down to the section that says "Registering now for..." Class fees for the learn-to-skate program cover seven lessons, a practice card and skate rental. And the off chance of running into Mike Knuble.

Rockville Ice Arena

Both hockey initiation and learn-to-skate begin February 26th. Fees for hockey include seven lessons, seven practice sessions, rental skates, all kinds of cool equipment and membership in the Caps Kids Club (which is a big hit in my house.) Learn-to-skate fees cover seven lessons, seven practices and rental skates. Sequins not included.

Wheaton Ice Arena

Classes (both hockey and learn-to-skate) start March 2nd. Registration is February 19th - February 25th. MoCo residents can register February 18th. Class fees include six weeks of classes, a practice card for admission to public skate sessions and rental skates. (Hmmm...do you feel like you read that somewhere already?)

If there are other hockey/learn-to-skate programs ramping up that I haven't mentioned, let me know.

As for us...the Kid wants to keep with hockey, so we're looking at the calendar to see what time and venue will work. I'm going to stick with my current lessons and will add the Just Axels class...oh wait...

Happy skating!

Highlight Reel

2011-02-12T18:23:00.002-05:00

The video below may have been the best part of the Washington Capitals 4-1 loss to the Los Angeles Kings. This is the opening video that they play at the start of the game. I love, love, love this video! I think it's great that the Caps have incorporated youth hockey so prominently.

Does something similar exist for youth figure skating?

Breathe Easy - Updated

2011-02-10T14:52:00.017-05:00

This morning, NBC's The Today Show ran a segment on ice rink air quality. ESPN's E:60 covered the same issue a while back. So, should those of us in the Washington, DC area be concerned about the air quality in our rinks?

According to Montgomery County Department of Parks, both Wheaton Ice Arena and Cabin John Ice Rink should be okay. Excellent!

Also, according to Beth Lenz, General Manager of Kettler Capitals Iceplex, they monitor their carbon monoxide levels and have had no problems. Nice!

Following are clips from The Today Show and E:60 about this issue and what you can do to learn more about the air quality in the rinks you skate in.

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Love on Ice

2011-02-09T12:46:00.027-05:00

Many years ago a guy tried to take me ice skating on a first date. I didn't know how to skate and about five seconds after he got on the ice, it was apparent he didn't either. I know the thought of dancing around like Meryl Davis and Charlie White (video) is terribly romantic. It's also terribly unrealistic.

Here's a little quiz to help you decide if an ice skating date is a good idea:

Are you a professional or competitive figure skater?
Are you a professional or competitive hockey player?
Is your name Meryl Davis or Charlie White?
Are you insane?

If you are unable to answer "yes" to any of the questions above, consider dinner and movie. If you don't want to take my expert advice, here are some fun Valentine's Day skating options in the Washington, DC area.

Sweetheart Skate -- Wheaton Ice Arena

Friday, February 11, 8:00 - 10:00p.m.

$6.25 covers admission and skate rental for two.

Sweetheart Skate -- Cabin John Ice Rink

Saturday, February 12, 8:30 - 10:30p.m.

$6.25 covers admission and skate rental for two.

Autograph Session

2011-02-07T11:37:00.035-05:00

Any time the Washington Capitals and the Pittsburgh Penguins meet up there's potential for bad behavior. (Remember this?) The Kid was especially psyched for this game because he would have ample opportunity to participate in this very bad behavior. I was expecting yet further proof that I should have my Mum-mum credentials revoked.

The game turned out to be professional preparation for the Kid. If you ask him what he wants to be when he grows up, he'll tell you a Caps hockey player, president of the United States or a Metro worker. With all due respect to WMATA and its employees, until they can work out some kinks, I think I'll direct the Kid toward hockey and POTUS. During the Caps 3-0 win over the Pens, the Kid got to work building his future fan base.

If you watch Caps games on television, you may have seen him dancing and cheering and you may have heard Joe B. and Locker comment on his spirit. If you go to the games, you may have seen him on the scoreboard. You may even have experienced his performance live.

What I didn't realize is that during the game, when I thought he was randomly dancing and cheering, he's actually been building a following. At games, people have told me:

"He's so cute!'

"He's so much fun!"

"We've been watching him the whole game! He's totally had us cheering!"

"I see him on tv all the time!"

"We just love your boy!"

"He's my favorite Caps fan!"

My little guy is a typical six year old -- he sometimes talks too much, he never stops moving, his sense of humor can be questionable. But at Caps games, he steps it up. He cheers appropriately, makes pretty smart comments about the game and is careful not to kick seats or accidentally bump into people around him.

On the way home from the game I was thinking about how much fun he is to watch hockey with and I said to him, "Kid, you're my favorite hockey fan."

"No, Mum-mum," he corrected me. "I'm your favorite hockey player."

Guess even I need to get in line for an autograph.

Hockey & Hotties

2010-11-21T12:43:00.006-05:00

As we were walking into the rink for the Kid's hockey lesson, we ran into his classmate Z. She's adorable and a budding figure skater. Kid settled onto a bench and as I was helping him lace up his skates he said softly to himself, "Oh, they went down there. Well, she'll still see me in my hockey equipment." I bit my lip so I wouldn't giggle.

It turns out Z must have been having similar thoughts. Moments later she came down to show the Kid her figure skating equipment -- cute fleece vest and shiny new skates. Did I mention she's adorable. Then she went to her end of the ice for her lesson and the Kid went to his end of the ice for his.

If 10 years from now Z is going to the Kid's hockey games and the Kid is attending her figure skating competitions, I'll have on record where it all began.

Wordless Wednesday: Cheers!

2010-11-17T11:17:00.003-05:00

Photo credit: DCGiant

My Favorite Blog Post

2010-11-15T10:17:00.012-05:00

This short post will surely be my favorite blog post ever.

We skipped skating practice yesterday. We found a mouse in our house so the Kid and I had to stay home and stand on chairs in the dining room while DCGiant guided the little rascal out the front door. Once the mouse was safely outside, the Kid and I headed to Verizon Center to watch the Washington Capitals beat the Atlanta Thrashers 6 -4.

The Kid caught got a puck during warm ups, which was exceedingly cool for him. But the best part of the evening for me came later. As we were walking toward our car the Kid suddenly stopped, looked up at me and said, "I swear, tonight was the best night ever!" and he gave me a huge hug. I'm not ashamed to say, I squeezed him tight and fought back tears.

He fell asleep clutching his hockey puck and singing, "Tonight's gonna be a good night. Tonight's gonna be a good, good, niiiight."

Best night ever.

Veterans Day Skating

2010-11-10T10:03:00.003-05:00

Just a quick note that there is free skating on Veterans Day for military personnel and their families.

Wheaton Ice Arena -- 12:30 pm - 2:30 pm and 4:15 pm - 6:00 pm

Cabin John Ice Rink -- 12:30 pm - 2:30 pm and 4:30 pm - 6:15 pm

Remember Your First Time?

2010-11-08T16:30:00.023-05:00

I'm a huge dork when it comes to attending Washington Capitals hockey games. I insist on being there to watch warm ups. I love hearing the national anthem. I love unleashing the fury. I will not leave a game early, no matter what the score is. I've had season tickets for more than 11 years and still every game feels a little like my first. Yeah, I'm a big dork alright.

And it's always fun to see someone else discover that they're a hockey dork too.

The match up against the Philadelphia Flyers was an evening of firsts. The Kid and I were in attendance to see Braden Holtby's first NHL start. (Against the Flyers?! No pressure.) And we left the game happy with the 3-2 win, but exhausted from the stress of going into overtime.

And a little girl fell in love with hockey at her first game. The seats directly behind mine don't belong to season ticket holders, which means we never know who'll be sitting there. Sometimes it's people who have won a Website or radio show contest. Sometimes it's fans of the opposing team (not good.) At the Caps/Flyers game it was family new to hockey. Mom, Dad, two little girls. Dad knew enough about hockey to be able to explain it to the girls without making any big gaffes and the girls were having a blast.

With about five minutes left in the game, the Mom and Dad suggested to the girls that it was time to go. (Nobody...I mean nobody...should ever leave a tied Caps/Flyers game early. Unless you're a Flyers fan, in which case I'll gladly have an usher show you to the door.) One of the little girls protested.

"We can't leave!" she said with all her five year-old indignation. "We don't know who won!"

"The game will probably be over before we even get to the car," Mom said, completely missing the point.

But girl wasn't giving up. "We can't leave! We have to see the end!" They stayed.

I looked at my friend D and we nodded our heads knowingly. That girl is hooked! Bet 'cha 11 years from now, she'll be a big-time hockey dork.

(Cross) Roll Over Beethoven...

2010-11-05T21:46:00.042-04:00

"I want you to teach me how to do this thing I saw this woman doing." Skating coaches love it when you say that. I tripped along the ice trying to show Dmytri what I was thinking of and hoping he would miraculously recognize it.

"Crossrolls," he said and he did them. "It's like crossovers only from outside edge to outside edge. And you don't turn but you go straight."

First he had me do these ridiculous pretzel-like swizzles that I'm not even going to try to describe. Then he had me skate forward on my right foot, bringing my left heel to my right toe, then put my left skate back on the ice and do the same thing on the other side. Then he said, "Okay, now you cross over."

I'm not sure what I was doing wrong, but Dmytri was appalled. "OH NO! NO! NO!" he exclaimed. Then he started barking orders.

"Bend your knees!"

"Don't put your knees together!"

"Heel to toe, not toe to toe!"

"Outside edge!"

Intrepid skating coach that he is, he didn't give up and neither would I. I must have said, "Okay, let me try it again" a million times. And he kept pointing out how bad I was doing. "NO! NO! NO!"

But toward the end Dmytri was actually saying, "Yes. Yes. Yes." as I wove my way down the ice. (Notice Dmytri says, "Yes. Yes. Yes." much less emphatically than "NO! NO! NO!")

I'm sure I have no business learning these things yet, but I'm glad Dmytri was game for trying. I mean, c'mon, crossrolls are sooo much more fun than 3-turns!

***

Following is a video of someone doing crossovers. (The Dmitri in this video is not the Dmytri I take lessons from.)

And here's a video of someone doing crossrolls. (I have no idea who this is.)

Faster Twizzles Please

2010-11-04T12:25:00.019-04:00

My fantasy figure skating has improved...marginally. I'm currently ranked 301 out of 657.

I've watched more figure skating in the past two weeks than I have in 39 years! And I'm actually catching on a little. Perhaps the biggest surprise for me is that skaters can change things up on the fly. I didn't realize that if you botched your triple-double-combination-thingy you could extemporaneously add another jump later to make up for it. Very cool.

And I haven't yelled obscenities at my television. Oh wait, I might have yelled, "Those twizzles need to be faster damn it!" No, I didn't yell that. I don't really know what twizzles are nor how fast they should be.

But I do know that the following skaters will have rock solid twizzles at Cup of China:

Ladies

Mirai Nagasu (US)
Amanda Dobbs (US)
Qiuying Zhu (CHN)

Mens

Brian Joubert (FRA) -- This was a tough pick. I kept going back and forth between him and Tomas Verner. C'mon Brian, show me I made the right choice.
Brandon Mroz (US)
Ross Miner (US) )

Pairs

Lubov Iliushechkina / Nodari Maisuradze (RUS) -- Iliushechkina got my attention. Such a teeny, tiny little spitfire! Love the fist pumps.
Caitlin Yankowskas / John Coughlin (US)
Kaleigh Hole / Adam Johnson (CAN)

Dance

Nathalie Pechalat / Fabian Bourzat (FRA)
Ekaterina Bobrova / Dmitri Soloviev (RUS)
Xueting Guan / Meng Wang (CHN)

My Hockey Coaching Credentials

2010-11-01T13:51:00.016-04:00

The Kid sat down at the breakfast table and asked politely, "Mum-mum, can I have the sports section, please?" I handed him the Washington Post sports section and he combed through it until he found hockey coverage.

"Mum-mum, you need to learn how to skate like a hockey player so you can help me practice."

Excuse me? A little reminder Kid: I didn't start taking skating lessons because I wanted to. I started taking skating lessons because I had to. You were four years-old, wanted to skate, someone had to take you. Yeah...that. I could have continued along happily in life without ever owning a pair of ice skates.

Now suddenly my ice skating isn't good enough for him.

Here's what the Kid can do after six weeks of beginner hockey:

Forward stroking
Forward swizzles with two-foot glide
Proper way to fall and get up while moving forward
Snowplow stop
Backward swizzles (three in a row)
Introduction to power turns
Stickhandling stationary (distance of shoulders) 10 times
Stickhandling while moving 10 strides
Stickhandling weaving through five cones
Introduction to passing and receiving

Here's what he needs to work on:

One foot strides with recovery
One foot glides (count to five)
Walking crossovers
Forward C-cuts (one foot swizzles alternating feet)

"Honey," I said. "I can help you out with that stuff."

And like a rookie parent, I expected him to gratefully accept my generous offer. Instead, he looked up at me with a gentle smile and nodding his head said, "But Mum-mum, you're just a figure skater."

Fantasy Meets Reality

2010-10-28T16:17:00.002-04:00

It turns out my fantasy figure skating is worse than my real figure skating. If that's even possible. After NHK Trophy, I'm ranked 506 out of 534 in US Figure Skating's fantasy figure skating challenge. So I changed up the way I made my picks for Skate Canada.

In making the choices listed below, I did not read any skating analysis, talk to any skating enthusiasts or even look up names to confirm these people are actual skaters and not the hot dog vendor or something. These people just "felt" like the right picks. So...here's a sneak peek at the folks who are sure to rise to the top at Skate Canada.

Ladies:

Alissa Czisny - US

Valentina Marchei - ITA

Alexe Gilles - US

Mens:

Adam Rippin - US

Artur Gachinski - RUS

Kristoffer Berntsson - SWE

Pairs:

Lubov Iliushechkina/Nodari Maisuradze - RUS

Meagan Duhamel/Eric Radford - CAN

Britney Simpson/Nathan Miller - US

Dance:

Sinead Kerr/John Kerr - GBR

Kristina Gorshkova/Vitali Butikov - RUS

Rachel Tibbetts/Collin Brubaker - US

Scary Skating

2010-10-27T15:50:00.018-04:00

It's Halloween, and really, what's scarier than teetering on thin pieces of metal on a hard, slippery surface? Well, having a rambunctious six year-old hopped up on sugar on a school night might be scarier. Regardless of which scenario freaks you out the most, here are a couple of skating-related things to add to your Halloween Weekend "to do" list.

Send the Kids Skating

Throw them in their costumes and take them to the rink, where, with any luck, they'll skate 'til they drop. Wheaton Ice Arena is having Spooky Skating on Friday, October 29 from 4:30 - 6:00 p.m. Halloween music, lights and a costume contest. Starting a 6:00 p.m. there will be "creepy crafts," including pumpkin painting and make-your-own scarecrow (they'll provide hay, you bring the clothes.) Cabin John Ice Rink is hosting its own Spooky Skate on Friday from 4:30 - 6:00 p.m.

Sign up for Skating Lessons

It's time to register for November classes. Deadline to register is October 31st. (Starting November 1st, you'll have to register in person and you'll get the privilege of paying a $10 service fee.)

There are several ways to sign up:

Online by clicking here
By phone at 301-670-6858
In person at Wheaton Ice Arena or Cabin John Ice Rink
Mailing in the registration form and payment to one of the aforementioned rinks

Happy Halloween...

Questioning My Hockey Mom Skills

2010-10-24T13:12:00.042-04:00

Here's yet another reason why I'll never be Hockey Mother of the Year.

The Kid and I attended the Washington Capitals 4-3 OT win over the Atlanta Thrashers. There was a street festival before the game where the Kid met Joe Beninati and got his face painted. Then we headed into the game for an oh-so-healthy dinner of hot dogs and potato chips.

During the game, the Kid was asking a lot of smart questions about what was going on -- What's interference? What's a "good" penalty? Does Mathieu Perreault always work so hard?

Then it got tricky...and I'm not referring to Alexander Semin's hat trick.

When Mike Green's apparent goal was disallowed, fans at the Verizon Center decided to show their disagreement by chanting the ever-popular, "Ref you suck!"

"What are they saying?" asked the Kid. And I told him.

"Does the ref like that?" he asked. And I told him.

Later fans disagreed with a goaltender interference call against Alex Ovechkin and again, chants of "Ref you suck!" reverberated throughout the stadium. And the Kid joined right in. Folks sitting around us giggled at his squeaky little voice and I sat there helplessly shrugging my shoulders.

Should the Kid be chanting "ref you suck?" Probably not, but how do I tell him that he's the only one out of 18,000 people who isn't allowed to join in the cheer? I let him keep yelling along with the crowd, but later explained that we only say that cheer at Caps games and we shouldn't say other things "suck." (Well, except the Penguins. And the Flyers. Maybe the Rangers.)

I know this is kind of a complex rule -- you can say it here, but not there. But hockey is complex and life is complex and simple rules don't always work. And the Kid has a mom whose example just might suck.

Fantasy Figure Skating

2010-10-20T21:37:00.002-04:00

I've never played fantasy sports before and you'd think that my first try would be fantasy hockey (at least I know the players!) But there are three very good reasons why I now have a fantasy figure skating team:

Having a fantasy team will incentivize me to watch (and learn about) figure skating. (I've already set the DVR for select events from the NHK Trophy!)
The Grand Prix (on which all of this is based) starts on my birthday. Clearly a sign.
I'm told by Aunt Joyce that it's entirely acceptable to yell, "You fucked up my fantasy team" while watching figure skating. So I don't have to worry about breaking arcane rules of figure skating etiquette.

If you want to know the rules of fantasy figure skating check out US Figure Skating and Axels, Loops and Spins.

Here's my team and the strategic thinking behind my decisions.

Pairs: (Starting here because pairs is my official favorite kind of figure skating.)

Caydee Denney/Jeremy Barrett (US) -- I love Caydee Denney. She's so freakin' cute and has tremendous energy. I get all "I-want-to-be-a-figure-skater" when I watch her.
Caitlin Yankowskas/John Coughlin (US) -- I just went with Americans here. *shrugs*
Yue Zhang/Lei Wang (CHN) -- Umm...yeah...I dunno.

Ladies:

Mao Asada (JPN) -- I think everyone picked this chick. I'm a follower like that.
Kiiri Korpi (FIN) -- How can you not pick someone named Kiiri Korpi?
Jenna McCorkell (GBR) -- Because McCorkell made me think cork, which made me think wine, which I will be drinking copious amounts of while watching figure skating.

Men:

Jeremy Abbott (US) -- I'm hoping this is the guy I saw skate to the Beatles. If not, congrats Jeremy, you made my team by mistake.
Denis Ten (KAZ) -- Gotta let Kazakhstan represent, yo.
Ross Miner (US) -- His name is familiar. I think from Twitter. My social media pick.

Dance:

Meryl Davis/Charlie White (US) -- They were the only names I recognized. Any chance Chuck will get a haircut?
Elena Ilinykh/Nikita Katsalapov (RUS) -- I'm told Russians are good ice dancers. I need to see some proof.
Penny Coomes/Nicholas Buckland (GBR) -- Emotional pick.

There are prizes associated with this little venture. If my team does well, I could find myself the winner of credit toward "select merchandise" at the US Figure Skating online store. I've got my eye set on the baseball hat.

Free Ice Skating

2010-10-18T13:12:00.021-04:00

Feeling unappreciated? Well, Wheaton Ice Arena and Cabin John Ice Rink would like to change that. Yep, it's time for Customer Appreciation Day.

Saturday, October 23 -- Cabin John

10610 Westlake Drive

Rockville, MD 20852

301-765-8620

Free skating lessons 3:30 - 4:00 p.m.

Free public skating session 4:00 - 6:00 p.m.

10% off regularly priced merchandise in the pro shop

Sunday, October 24 -- Wheaton

11717 Orebaugh Avenue

Wheaton, MD 20902

301-905-3000

Free skating lessons 2:00 - 2:30 p.m.

Free public skating session 2:45 - 4:45 p.m.

And the obligatory pro shop sale

Slapshot and the Red Rockers will be there, so be sure to break out your Caps jersey!

Check it out! And remember to "bend your knees, bend your ankles, don't look down!"

Drugs and (no) Alcohol

2010-10-16T14:29:00.001-04:00

I still have a swollen ankle. And it still hurts. And to add insult to injury, I'm now taking meds that require me to stop drinking wine (and beer and vodka...). Things may get a little cranky around here.

Results from that crazy blood test revealed that there's nothing systemically wrong. The doctor and I had a long talk about the medication she had prescribed and my reservations about taking it.

"You might find that if you take it for two weeks, it'll fix the problem. Ultimately, you should do what you feel comfortable with," she said.

Reassured, I decided to try the drugs. The only side effect I experienced was dizziness (whee!!) The swelling in my ankle went down dramatically and the pain went away. The big test -- to try skating.

The first thing I noticed was that my left skate no longer felt tight. (It hasn't fit quite right since the injury.) And did I ever notice a difference on the ice! I wasn't afraid to put weight on my ankle. I can't remember the last time I skated that I wasn't worried about my ankle giving out on me the entire time. I practiced for two hours. It was the best practice ever! And I was having a blast. Whoo-hoo! I was starting to think I might actually get good at this skating stuff.

Or not.

A couple of days later the Kid asked to go skating, so I took him. It wasn't good. I stepped on the ice and that old feeling came back -- pain and fear of putting weight on my ankle. It was particularly disappointing having just had such a good practice.

I was going to be a figure skater, dammit!

I'll continue on the meds for the full two weeks and hopefully in the end that will take care of it. If not, I'm giving up and I promise to quit whining.

Hockey Phase

2010-10-14T13:52:00.006-04:00

As a rookie parent I'm finding little boys go through phases. In six short years there's been Bob the Builder, Thomas the Tank Engine, Lightning McQueen, then back to Thomas the Tank Engine. Buzz Lightyear makes an appearance now and then. But I have a feeling the hockey phase we're going through now is going to last a long time.

The Kid and all his friends crowded around the door to the ice impatiently waiting for their class to start. Once their coach beckoned them onto the ice, my little guy took off full-steam, imitating the warm up routine of the Washington Capitals. And I sat on freezing cold metal bleachers giggling and shivering at the same time. (Ice rinks are fairly miserable places if you're not skating in them.)

With about five minutes left in the class, the Kid looked up at me and yelled through the glass, "Mum-mum, we're playing a real game!"

Then stop yapping at me and take the damn face-off! Sheesh! I clapped and cheered. Even with the cage on his helmet, I could see his little face gleaming with happiness. That sight warmed me a lot more than the sweater I was wearing.

When the class was over the Kid and one of his team mates stayed on the ice passing a puck around and taking shots on goal while their coach picked up all the equipment. Finally she stopped them, "C'mon guys! Time to put everything away for the figure skaters."

The Kid reluctantly got off the ice and immediately asked when we could come back to practice. He may be bordering on obsession.